Troll on Earth!
by CancerLover69
Summary: Karkat is raised on Earth as a human instead of a troll( He is still a troll though). Through out his whole wrigglerhood he is best friends with Dave. DaveKar. This is my first story so be nice!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

**I don't own Homestuck**

A meteor flies into town and a teen aged girl runs to see what it is, she has long white hair and is dressed in all black. She looks in the crater to see a weird alien creature on, it has a red body and looks like a grub. "Hi little guy," she says sliding into the crater.

"GRR!" He growls when she gets closer to him.

"Shuush," she picks him up, "what is this?" She picks up a silver chain with a cancer pendent, "I guess this will be yours one day," she carries the little grub out of the crater and take it home. She likes the thought of keeping the little alien and she lives alone so no one can say anything about it.

She walks into her house and walks into an empty room that is set up for a five year old boy, "you can stay in here," she says and puts the little grub on the blue bed.

He bites the sheets, "GRR!"

"Whoa, come on little guy," she picks him up, "I guess you are hungry, but what would you eat?"

She takes him to the kitchen and feeds him with a bottle full of milk, after he finishes he falls asleep. She puts him back in the room and calls her friends.

"Hey Strider, you will never guess what just happened to me," she says.

"I am going to have to call you back later Kanri," Bro says, "I have to take care of Dave."

"Dave, since when do you have a kid?"

"Since I found him in a crater," Bro says, "he was on top of a horse and," she hears a crash, "I have to go, Dave stay away from the stove!"

**Click**

She puts the phone back on the hook and checks on her little wriggler, she finds him curled up in the light blue blankets, "aww," she says they leaves the room.

"I wonder what he is." She sits on her coach, "well I guess it doesn't matter now, he is my responsibility now."

"HISSS!" She looks down to see the angry wriggler and she picks him up.

"Whats wrong?" She asks and puts him on her lap. "You are an angry thing aren't you?"

He bites her finger, "grr!" He says.

She bites her lips and pulls her finger back, "oh fuck that hurt!" She paps him until he calms down.

The wriggler falls asleep on her lap, "ZZzzzzz."

"Bites me then sleeps," she mutters, "this is not normal, but neither am I," she moves a little.

"GRRRR," she stops, "zzzzz."

"Sensitive aren't you," she giggles.

**RING!**

She gets it quickly then sits back down so the little wriggler doesn't get mad again, "hello?"

"Sorry about that," Bro says, "so what were you going to tell me?"

"First, baby proof your house Bro, if you don't then little Dave will kill himself from one of your katana."

"He almost did," he says, "he found the one in the fridge."

"Bro," she says.

"GRRR!"

"Shuush, go back to sleep," she paps the little wriggler and he calms back down.

"Zzzz."

"What was that?"

"I found a little um, I am going to call him a wriggler, in a crater near the sickle store I go to every day."

"What is a wriggler?"

"Um, a grub looking creature that is red or can be different colors, maybe, and has horns. They have gray faces and black hair."

"Send me a pic of this, wriggler."

"Ok," she sends him a picture.

"What the heck is that?"

"My wriggler," she says.

"Only you would be so calm about having the wriggler on your lap."

"Yes I am."

"Oh Vantas, what is its name?"

"Hm, oh Karkat!" She looks in her candy bowl to see kitkats.

"Did you just look at a kitkat?"

"Maybe," she says.

"I have to go," Bro says.

"Why?"

"Dave, stop biting Cal!" HE hands up.

She laughs, "Striders."

Karkat crawls around the floor, "hisss!" He hisses at a crab stuffed animal on the floor.

"He can't hurt you," she picks Karkat up and puts him on top of the crab, "see you are much stronger."

Little Karkat falls asleep on the crab, "maybe I should just call you crabby," she falls asleep on the coach watching him.

She feels something nipping at her fingers and she wakes up, "grrrr," he says calmly then climbs back on top of the crab.

"Yep, still stronger little guy," she says and picks Karkat and the crab up and takes them into the kitchen. Karkat starts to blow some little bubbles, "whoa."

She wraps the little wriggler in a red blanket and he didn't seem to like that too much, "GRRR!"

"Shuush," she says and hands him the necklace, "see this, I found it with you. Do you like it?"

HE holds it with his little back legs and plays with it until she wraps the blanket back around him.

Yes, this is going to be a long child hood for Karkat, but it will be one full of love. Kanri promises herself that this time; she will protect her child better. This time, he will live a log and full life; he will not die before her this time.

**Review if you liked it!**

**If you didn't like it the go away and don't waste your time telling me you didn't!**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

**I don't own Homestuck, just this plot**

* * *

**6 years later**

"Mom," the little Karkat yells looking around the house for her. He is wearing a black shirt with a spade on it with the silver cancer necklace on.

"In here," she calls from the kitchen; she is making chocolate chip cookies, his favorite. Karkat now has a more human form, but is gray. His horns are still a little sensitive to touch and he is still easy to anger.

"Mom!" He says holding his crab stuffed animal, "we will be late!"

"Hm?" She looks at him confused.

"You pwromised!"

"What?" She puts down the cookies in the oven, "oh! Oh my Gog I forgot!" She runs to the phone to call Bro.

"Hello Vantas, you forgot didn't you?" Bro asks.

"Shut it Strider!" She hisses.

"Mom!" Karkat says tugging on her pants.

She picks him up, "so are you two still coming over or what? Dave is expecting to meet his new friend today, and I want to see how the little guy has grown up."

"Hi," Karkat says into the phone.

"Is that him?"

"No, this is my little brother. Yes it is Karkat," she puts him down, "you can talk to him wail I cook the rest of the cookies I was making."

"Bring some of that shit here!"

"Ok," she hands the phone to Karkat and walks back into the kitchen.

"Hello?" He says.

"Hello little dude."

"Grrr," Karkat growls, "I am not little!"

"Whoa, well I have never seen you so I wouldn't know, little dude."

"GRRRR!" He growls in the phone, on the other side Bro is trying not to laugh.

"Bro, are they coming or not?" Dave asks, he is wearing a white shirt with a heart on it and small anime shades.

"I am talking to Karkat right now if you want to speak to him."

"Give me," he gives Dave the phone, "hello?"

"Hi, who is this?" Karkat asks.

"I am Dave, who are you?"

"Karkat, where is Bro?"

"He gave me the phone, so you are Kanri's son?"

"Yeah I am! Who else would I fucking be!"

"KARKAT!" They hear her scream.

"Sorry mom," he says and walks into his room.

"Dude," Dave laughs, "you should be more careful with the way you phrase things."

"Shut up Strider," he says and sits on his bed. Kanri and Karkat redecorated his room, now he has gray bed sheets and movie posters on the walls. A desk in with a laptop on it, he has his own bathroom in his room and he has a small pile of stuffed animals in the corner of his room that consists of a clown, cat, bull, a shark, a fish, a spider, a ram, a bee, a horse, a dragon, and a bat. He also has a several stacks of romcons because he loves to watch them.

"Hey, just cool it bro," Dave says, "I have hear a lot about you and how you are 'different'."

Karkat scowls and looks at his gray skin, then thinks of his mom's pale pink skin, "I heard you wear sunglasses everywhere."

"And I do, just like my Bro."

"Why?"

"I have my reasons," Dave says.

"Ok," Karkat says, _I am going to see what your little secret is now._ He smiles evilly, "doesn't it get hard to see?"

"No, I am used to it."

"Karkat, I need your help," Kanri says.

"OK I will be there in a minute," he calls back, "I have to go, but I guess we can talk in person in a few minutes."

"Yeah, later," he hangs up and walks into the kitchen after putting the phone back on the hook. "You called mom? Whoa!" He looks at the five pans of cookies, his eyes start to sparkle.

"Fresh from the over, be careful it is still hot," she hands him one and he eats it greedily.

Chocolate chip is his favorite type of cookies, "these taste awesome!"

"Good to hear," she says, "now help me pack them up so we can share them with the Striders."

"Can't we just eat them all?"

"Not if you want to go over to meet Dave," they pack up all the cookies and put them in her Sylladex.

"Can we leave now?!"

"You need to put on your…." Before she can finish Karkat runs into his room and puts on a gray coat with a silver cancer sign on the right side and a dark gray can on to hide his horns.

"There."

"Ok," they leave and walk to Dave's house, "hey Strider," she knocks.

"Hello Kanri," Bro says, "Come in," they do. "So you are Karkat, you are little."

"GRRRR!" Karkat looks around the Strider's house and it is full of these weird looking puppets and swords. The puppets are everywhere though!

"Karkat," she says.

"What?" He looks up at her.

"Hey Dave, come meet Karkat."

"Ok," Dave walks down; the first thing Karkat notices is his bright blond hair and triangle shades.

"Why is he gray? Are you wearing make-up or something?"

"No," Karkat says flatly, "it is a skin condition, dummy."

"Follow me," Dave leads Karkat to his room, "be careful on the stairs." Kanri and Bro go into the kitchen.

"Why?" He slips on a puppet, "AH!" He falls backwards and hits his head on the wall, "FUCK!"

"Whoa, you ok?"

Karkat is holding his head with little tears in his eyes, "oh Gog that hurt!" What Dave doesn't know is that he hit his horns on the wall.

"Dude did you hit your head that hard?" He helps Karkat up but he is still holding his head, "walk in front of me."

They make it to Dave's room this time and Dave closes the door behind them, "your room is a mess."

"Not really, I just cleaned it," he says.

Karkat picks up a smuppet, "what are these things anyway?"

"They are smuppets, my Bro uses them for his work."

"Ok," he throws it in a corner and still has one hand on his head.

"Does you head still hurt, dude you are weak."

"Shut up fuck ass!" Karkat growls and fixes his hat, "so why are you wearing the shades indoors?"

"I told you, I have my reasons."

Karkat goes to pull his shades off but Dave grabs his arm, "hey!"

"What are you doing Karkat?"

"Just let me see, it can't be that bad," Karkat goes to grab them with his other hand and Dave grabs his other wrist.

"No dude, I am not showing you. Come to think about it, why are you wearing a jacket when it is summer and a hat indoors?"

"I have my reasons too," Karkat says trying to pull away.

Dave smiles, "then show me."

"You first fuck ass!" Karkat pulls back to hard and slips on a cord, but this time he lands on Dave.

"God, why are you so clumsy?!" Dave looks at Karkat.

"Whoa," Karkat says, "nice eyes," he says with a grin looking at Dave's red eyes.

"Fuck!" Dave covers his eyes, "give me back my shades!"

"But," Karkat starts.

"DUDE NOW!"

"Calm down!" Karkat pins him down, "what is wrong with having red eyes?"

"You aren't scared?" he has his eyes shut tightly.

"No," Karkat gets off of him and pulls him up, "it is cool. I like the color red, but tell anyone and I will kill you! I have red eyes too stupid."

"Ok," he says and opens his eyes, "so what is your secret?" He picks up his shades and put them on his bed stand.

"I don't know," Karkat starts and has his hand on his hat, "you will be scared of me then." Dave looks at Karkat's red eyes.

"No I won't, promise," he goes through his closet and throws him something.

"What is this?" He looks at the yellow liquid.

"Apple juice," Dave says and drinks some from his bottle.

"Oh yeah," Karkat pulls a container of cookies from his Sylladex, "I snuck these from my mom," he opens it and they sit on Dave's bed.

"So about the hat and jacket thing."

Karkat rolls his eyes and takes off his jacket to reveal his gray skin, "see I am gray."

"Whoa," Dave looks at him, "that must be hard to hide, you sure it isn't make-up?"

"Positive," he says a bit annoyed.

"What about the hat?" Dave grabs the front of it.

"Don't," Karkat puts his hands on top so he can't take it off, "it is worse than red eyes."

"What do you have horns or something?" He pulls the hat off to see Karkat's nubby horns, "oh, you do have horns. They look like candy corn."

Karkat flips him off and takes his hat back, "one they have no white on them! And two, if you tell anyone I will kill you and tell everyone about your eyes!"

"Your secret is safe bro," Dave says and eats a cookie, "holly fuck no," he spits it out.

"What is wrong?!" Karkat asks.

"Are these Batter Witch cookies?!"

"What? No mom made them homemade! What the fuck?!"

"Oh, never mind," he finishes the cookies.

"What is a Batter Witch?"

"She has been trying to take over the world for years now, using her empire with baked goods," Dave says.

"Hm," Karkat shrugs and drinks some juice, "why did you have these in your closet?"

"Bro keeps the swords in the fridge."

"Shouldn't they be on the wall like yours?"

"Na," Dave says.

* * *

Kanri and Bro talk in the kitchen, "he has grown a lot since his 'wriggler' days," Bro says munching on a cookie.

"Yep," she says, "so how have you two been?"

"I am teaching Dave how to be a man already. I can teach Karkat for you too, if you want," Bro says.

"No thanks, I don't need him to start rapping randomly or wearing shades everywhere," she says, "or to talk about irony all the time like you do."

"Fine," he says, "oh and glad to see you have mellowed out some."

"I was plenty mellow before!" She snaps at him.

"Your hair used to be black," he says with a grin.

"Maybe through your shade, I have always had white hair."

"Really?"

"Yes, really," she says, "you color blind?"

"No," he says, "oh why was Karkat wearing a jacket during the summer?"

"To hide his skin," she says, "remember," she shows him a picks of wriggler Karkat, "he has little horns under the hat."

"Really, well shit I owe you money then," he says, "I thought they were going to fall off or something."

"Nope, and I will settle for a few sword lessons."

* * *

"Ok," Karkat says, "watch," he does a hand stand and walks on his hands with his hat on, "see it doesn't fall off."

"Nice," he says and Karkat gets back up then sits next to Dave, "do you go out much Karkat?"

"Not really, but I don't care," he says, "as long as I am with my mom. But coming over here wouldn't be too bad, every so often," he says lying on his back with his eyes closed.

Dave smiles, "well we will see plenty of each other when school starts," he says.

"No we won't, mom is going to home school me," Karkat says.

"What? Well shit."

"What? I would go but no hats and that would cause more trouble than it is worth."

"I guess you're right," he sighs, "I wonder what would happen if someone did take it off during school."

"I think they would tell me to take off my fake horns and when I don't they will try to take them. When they touch it I will scream, bite, or hit them and everyone will freak out."

"Wait is that why you were holding your head earlier?"

"Yes, I hit my horns and they are sensitive to touch."

"Like this," he pokes it.

Karkat's eyes shoot open, "DON'T TOUCH!" He screams freaking out and Dave cover's his mouth.

"Shut up," he growls.

"Hey what are you two doing?" Bro walks in.

"Bro, wait Bro we can explain!" Dave says and lets him go. Karkat puts his hat on, "they are fake and…"

"Karkat you mom wants to talk to you about the missing cookies, but I just found them," he points to the empty container on the bed.

"Ok," he slides his jacket back on and walks down stairs.

"Karkat," Dave follows him after he puts his shades back on.

Bro walks behind them with a smirk, "yes mom?"

"I can't believe you stole twenty cookies," she says, "Did you two eat all of them?"

"Yep," he says with a grin, "and they were all delicious."

"Well if you don't eat all of your dinner I will not let you have any more until you are seven."

"Yes ma'am," he says.

Dave is just standing next to him, "so do you want to tell me anything?" She asks, "Like why you were screaming?"

"Dave knows," Bro says and takes Karkat's hat off of him as he walks by him to Kanri.

"Oh, well it is nice to see you trust him. You two can go and play some more I just wanted to tell you about the dinner thing," Kanri says and Bro throws Karkat back his hat.

"Ok," Karkat shrugs and they walk back to Dave's room wail putting his hat back on.

"She was really calm about that," Dave says.

"Yeah," He takes off his jacket and hat, "she probably knew this would happen."

"What?"

"Yep, they both probably set this up."

"Hm, this does sound like something Bro would do."

"So are we friends now or something?"

"Yeah, I guess," Dave says.

"Ok," Karkat lies back on the bed again, "so now what?"

Dave smiles and puts on Karkat's hat, "we could go and mess with them."

"Ok Strider," Karkat puts on his shades, "but just putting these on won't be 'ironic' enough."

Dave smiles and listens to Karkat's plan.

* * *

"So what do think?" Kanri asks Bro.

"I think you should wear shades more often," he says looking at her with his spar triangle shades on.

"Really? It is kind of hard to see out of them."

"You get used to it," Bro says, "so about the boys."

"I think we should let them have a sleep over soon," she says and takes off the shades, "so there friendship can grow."

"Then Kar is staying here," he says, "I will turn him into a man!"

"No," she says, "he will not become a Strider man!"

"Hey mom, turn around," Karkat says.

"What honey?" She looks at him, "oh my Gog what did you do to them?!" She asks Bro.

"Nothing!" He says, "But he does look good as a Strider." Karkat is wearing Dave's triangle shade and a white shirt with a red heart on it.

Dave is wearing Karkat's spade shirt, his jacket unzipped and his hat, "ironic?" Karkat asks.

"Oh no!" Kanri lays her head on the table, "it is contagious!"

"I think we broke your mom," Dave says.

"She has seen worse."

"Like," Dave asks and fixes the hat.

"I am not allowed to repeat it," he says blushing a little, "nor do I want to."

"It must have been pretty bad to make you feel like that."

"Let's go change," Karkat says.

"No way, I like being Dave Vantas."

Karkat glares at him until he realizes that Dave can't see him glaring, "ok hot shot, fine I am Karkat Strider and your Dave Vantas, have fun fuck ass."

"Oh yeah," he says and gets some candy corn from the cabinet, "now I look just like you," he holds it on top of his head.

"Ok," he takes off the shades and he has red eyes too, "mine are natural," and he puts the shades back on.

"I am Karkat, fuck the world!" He says.

"I am Dave; I am too ironic to say anything else."

Bro and Kanri struggling not to laugh as she records them, "send me a copy," Bro says.

"Got it," she says smiling.

"Give me all of your chocolate chip cookies!" Dave says.

"Give me all of your apple juice!" Karkat counters.

"Look at my crab," he holds out Karkat's crab stuffed animal.

Karkat is ticked but keeps his fake cool kid act on, "oh a crab, just like how you act bro. My crows are so much cooler since they can kill me in my sleep." He snatches his crab away from Dave though.

"I am so clumsy," he says trying to sound like Karkat and wobbles around like he is going to fall.

"Oh," Karkat says, "I am such a cool kid, look at my triangle shade," he crosses his arms and looks at Dave and leans on the wall like a cool kid.

"Ha-ha," Kanri starts to laugh, "He got both of you!" She covers her mouth trying to muffle her laughter.

"They are cool," Bro says, "better than your lame gray hat."

Kanri looks at him irritated, "what?"

"You hear me," he says.

"That used to be my hat," she says and puts the camera down.

"Come on Vantas, it is boring. You should have at least put something on it."

She opens the fridge and grabs a sword, "roof now," she walks to the roof.

"OH I see how it is," he grabs Cal and walks up behind her.

"We have got to see this," Dave says and they run up to the roof and watch from behind the door.

Bro attacks her with Cal and she uses the sword to block him, "wow, your mom is fast," Dave says.

"Duh! Of course she is fucking fast, she has to be."

"Why?"

Kanri kicks Cal into the air and attack Bro, "she had to catch me for most of my childhood."

"You couldn't have been that fast when you were a baby. Wait, were you a baby or something else?"

"I was, I just have some mutations, idiot."

Kanri grabs Cal and holds the sword to his neck, "surrender or I decapitate Cal!"

"Fine!" Bro says and she gives him Cal.

"Vantas one, Strider zip!" She says, "You have to pay for Chinese," she walks back inside with the boys following her.

"Did you just use flash step?"

"Yes I did," she says, "Bro taught me when we were kids."

"Cool."

"Let's go back to my room," Dave leads him back into his room.

"Ok, now what?"

"I don't know."

"Maybe we should change," Karkat says and they both realize they are still wearing each other's clothes.

"Yeah," Dave takes off all of his clothes and Karkat looks away.

"What are you doing?!" Karkat asks blushing a little.

"What? We are both boys, it is fine."

"No it isn't," Karkat grabs his clothes and walks into the closet and changes, "here," he gives Dave his clothes.

"Look whose shy."

"Shut up," he says and puts his hat and jacket on Dave's turntable.

"Whoa, dude not on the turntable!"

"Ok," he throws them on his desk chair, "better?"

"Yeah," Dave says with only his pants on.

"Will you put your shirt on?!"

"Maybe," he says then grins, "or I will just leave it off."

"Good bye," Karkat walks to the door.

"Ok, look it is on!"

Karkat looks back bored and covers his eyes, "for the love of everything, get dressed!"

"Ha-ha," Dave says and puts all of his clothes back on, "we have the same body, minus the color."

"Don't ever do that again!" Karkat growls.

"Or what?"

"GRRRR!" He growls and opens his eyes, "I will bite you."

"Try it," Dave says and puts on his shades.

Karkat tackles him and bites his arm, "hhm it fhhm!"

"Ouch!" He screams, "get off, I am sorry! I didn't think you would actually bite me!"

Karkat lets go of his arm, "I don't joke."

"Yeah I see that now," he holds his arm, "you have really sharp teeth!"

Karkat give him an evil grin so he can see all of his sharp teeth, "I am surprised you aren't bleeding."

"Says you," he shows him his arm, "you really know how to flip you shit dude."

"Fuck!" Karkat pulls a first aid kit out of his Sylladex and wraps Dave's arm up, "sorry," he mutters.

"Whoa," he moves his arm and it feels like his arm isn't ever wrapped up, "you did a good job."

"Yeah," he says, "I have had a lot of practice."

"Why?"

Karkat rolls up his sleeve to show Dave that part of his arm is wrapped up, "like you said, I can be a little clumsy."

"Does your mom know?"

"No," he rolls it back down, "and that is why I will not strip in front of you."

"Gezz when you say it like that, it sounds bad."

"We are friends not bros!" Karkat says blushing, "not yet anyway," he mumbles and Dave can't understand him.

"Well I guess we will become bros sooner or later."

"Whatever," Karkat says.

**Review if you like it! ^_^**

**If you don't then why are you still reading?! : P**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

**I don't own Homestuck, just this plot.**

* * *

Karkat sits in the living room watching Leap Year.

"Karkat," she looks at the TV, "never mind, you're in that mindset again."

"What?" Karkat pauses it, "do you need help mom?"

"I just wanted to tell you I am going to be out shopping for a little wail, my number is still on the fridge and don't…."

"Pick up the phone unless it is you, open the door unless you call first or give me the secret knock, and don't leave the house by myself," Karkat says.

"Good boy," she kisses him on the head, "I will be back as soon as I can."

"Ok," she leaves. He watches the rest of his movie then takes a shower; he likes the feeling of just standing in the hot water. After his shower he walks around the apartment fully dressed and has a towel on his head.

**RING!**

He looks at the phone and waits for the answering machine, "hey Karkles, pick up the phone. I know you are home, pick up the phone. Dude, pick up the phone, I know Kanri isn't home but just do it. God I didn't want to do this but," he takes a deep breath and starts to sing horribly, "baby come back!" He screams/sings.

"Fuck!" Karkat says holding his ears and picks up the phone, "what do you want?!" He screams in the phone and Dave finally stops.

"Hey, whats up?" Dave says normally.

". . . ."

"You still there? Do I need to start singing badly again?"

"No, Gog no!" He hisses in the phone, "Why did you call if you knew my mom wasn't home. DO you know how much trouble I will get in if she finds out I am doing this?"

"Yes," he says, "now back to why I called, you are coming over later to sleep over. Pack a bag for a few days."

"Wait why?!"

"Because I said so, chop chop dude, later," Dave hangs up.

"Dave, Dave?!" Karkat puts the phone back down and lays down in his stuffed animal pile, "ugh, what should I do?"

**RING!**

Karkat walks to the phone and lets it got to voice message, "Karkat pick up the phone. Karkat pick up the phone. Karkat pick up the phone! Do I need to start singing again?" He waits. "Ok," Karkat can hear him taking a deep breath.

He picks up the phone, "what now Strider?!"

"If you need anything to sleep with like your little crab, bring it. I won't make fun of you or anything," Dave says.

"First of all, fuck you. Wait how did you get into my Sylladex in the first fucking place?!"

"I am just cool like that."

"Gog," Karkat sighs.

"Why do you say that anyway?"

"What?"

"Gog, its God."

"That is just what I say, deal with it."

"Fine, just start packing already," Dave hangs up.

"Hey! Damn it he hung up again!" He puts the phone back on the hook and falls into his stuffed animal, "what should I do?" He packs a bag and puts it in him Sylladex

"Karkat I am back," Kanri walks in with a few bags.

"Hi mom," he helps her carry some in.

"Thanks," she unloads her Sylladex, "did you watch anything else wail I was gone?"

"No," he says and puts his towel back in the bathroom.

**RING!**

She picks up the phone, "hello?"

"Hi Kanri, Karkat is coming over next weekend to sleep over," Bro says.

"When was this decided?"

"Just now," he says, "I will come and get the little man, bye."

"Bro! Bro don't you dare," he hangs up, "hang up," she signs and puts it down.

"What was that about?"

"Bro is going to get you next weekend to sleep over at his house, pack a bag," she says and Karkat walks into his room and takes his bag out of his Sylladex.

"I am all packed," he says walking out of his room.

"Ok that was fast," she says.

"I just threw a few shirts and pants in my bag," he says rubbing his head and yawns.

"Take a nap."

"No thanks," he says and puts in a new movie to watch.

**Short chapter, sorry.**

**Review and tell me what you liked.**

**IF you don't like it then why are you still here?**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

**I don't own Homestuck, just this plot**

Karkat walk into the Strider house and Bro greets him, "hello little man."

"Bro," he says.

"I will come back in two days," she kisses Karkat on the head and leaves.

"Here," he throws Karkat the remote, "watch whatever Karkat's watch."

He sits on the coach and waits for Bro to get Dave and watching something.

"Hey Karkles," Dave says, "come on."

He throws the remote back to Bro and walks upstairs, "why are you calling me Karkles?"

"Because I want to," he says and closes the door behind Karkat.

Whatever," Karkat takes off his jacket and hat then throws them on a chair, "just don't call me that in public."

"When do you go out?" Dave takes off his shades.

"Just wait until I am a few more years older."

"Oh, so you are going to walk around in the sun when you are like eight or something?"

"Yeah," he says.

"Well," Dave says, "make yourself at home."

"Ok," he puts her stuffed animal pile at the front of Dave's bed.

"Whoa, why do you have these?" He picks up the clown, "this thing is creepy dude."

"No Cal is creepy," he takes back his clown, "besides I made him."

"You made theses?! I thought you had your mom buy them."

"I get bored," he says and throws the clown back in the pile, "so what are we going to do?"

"We should get you out of this," he touches Karkat's shirt, "it doesn't look cool."

"Oh, and you are a fashion expert?"

"Here just put this on," he gives him some cloths and a pair of anime shade.

"Are the shades necessary?"

"Yes," he says, "now change."

Karkat sighs deciding not to argue with the Strider and walks into the closet to change. "Dave I look like an idiot," he says.

"Come out," Karkat walks out with the shades on. He is wearing a bright red shirt with white long sleeves with a gray cancer symbol on the middle of it and blue jeans.

"I am changing again."

"No, you look better in that than in all gray," he snatches the old cloths from him.

"What about my hat?"

"Here," he hands him a new gray hat with a bleeding red cancer sign on it.

"Ok Strider, I will wear this wail I am here," he puts on his hat, "now what?"

"I heard you like movies," he hands him a few, "pick one and we will watch it."

"Ok," he looks through the titles then frowns, "all of these movies are about puppets."

"I know, now pick," Dave puts on his shades.

"Fine this one," he hands him the _Muppets_.

"Let's go," the walk down stairs, "be careful," Dave warns.

"I know that!" He hisses and slips again, "Fuck!"

Dave catches him this time, "dude you are light," he puts the blushing Karkat down.

"SO what?" He growls, "and thanks," he mutters looking away.

They walk into the living room and Bro isn't there, "ok let's watch it," he puts the movie in and they sit on the coach.

"What about popcorn?"

"Here," he hands him some from his Sylladex, "I made it a few minutes ago."

"Ok," he eats some from the bowl.

"What is with these puppets?" Karkat asks during the movie.

"I thought you would like them since you like the creepy clown."

"It isn't bad, but not good," Karkat says and yawns.

"Are you seriously going to go to sleep?"

"No," he hisses, "I am bored."

"Well we are finishing the movie."

"Whatever," he says crossing his arms.

Bro walks in and watches it from behind the coach, "what are you little dudes doing?"

The credits start to, "we just finished a puppet movie," Karkat sighs groggily.

"It was cool," Dave says, "are you sure you don't want to sleep?"

"Yes," he growls, "now what?"

"Pick another movie," he holds out the other two.

"Ugh, I am not watching anymore puppet movies!"

"Then what else do you do?" He asks.

"I watch romcons!" He says, "Not puppets!"

"I meant besides watching movies and making those stuffed animals."

"You make puppets?" Bro asks.

"No, like the crab I took from him last time," Dave says and holds out the clown, "and this."

"Dude," he takes the clown away but Bro takes it first.

"It is well made," he looks down at Karkat and smiles at his shades.

"Hey, give it back," Karkat snatches it back and puts it back in his Sylladex.

"Come with me," he walks to the door.

"Where are we going?" Karkat asks.

"Out," he says pushing both the boys out the door.

"Hell yeah!" Dave says and pulls Karkat to the car.

"Where are we going?" Karkat takes off his shades

You will see," Bro drives them to the park, "we are here, get out."

Dave gets out and pulls Karkat out, Karkat shades his eyes with is free hand, "why is it so bright out?"

"Put the shades on," he says and hands them to Karkat.

"Fine," he puts them on, "why are we at a park?"

Dave stops when they get to the swings, "to play dude."

"Why?" He looks around to see kids and teens playing everywhere. People where playing basketball on the court, volleyball, skating in the skating area and just running around.

"Because you need to," he says, "now sit," he points at the swing.

"Whatever," he sits on the swing, "now what?"

"Swing," Dave gets on it and swings.

Karkat mimics him, "I am going higher than you," he says with a grin.

"Not for long," he makes himself go higher.

They compete to see who can go highest until Karkat jumps off, "later," he runs off.

Dave jumps off and follows him into the skate park, "can you even skate?"

"I don't know," Karkat says watching them. Someone falls off and the skate board flies at Karkat, he catches it, "one way to find out," he puts it down and rides around with his hands in his pockets.

Ever one watches him, "who is the new kid?" "What is with his shades?"

Karkat goes down the ramp and takes his hands out of his pockets, he grinds on the railing and does a 360. He flips on the board and rides it back up to Dave then gets off.

"Dude that was cool," Dave says, "you know how to ride a skate board."

"Ok," he says and hands the owner of the board his board back.

"Who are you, this is the first time have seen you here, where did you learn to ride?"

"Self-taught," he says with a shrug and walks away with Dave.

"That was cool," Dave says.

Bro walks to them, "have you two been having fun?"

"Karkles knows how to skate board."

"I didn't think Kanri would let you practice," he says.

"She didn't, I practice when she isn't home."

"Hey is that why you….?"

"Yes," Karkat answers quickly. "Where are we going next?"

"Pizza," Bro says he drives them to Chucky Cheeses.

"Sweet, come on," Dave pulls Karkat into one of the play areas. Karkat takes off his shoes and puts his shades in them.

"Leave the shades on," Dave says.

"No thanks," he climbs in, Dave goes after him.

"Hey wait up," Dave says after he has lost track of Karkat, you would think it would be easy to find a boy in a hat, "Karkles? Hey Karkat!"

Karkat climbs out and puts his shoes back on, he puts the shades back on too. He watches Dave climb around looking for him, "idiot." He walks away to play a game.

"I can't believe I lost him," Dave climbs out to see if he was waiting for him, "not here either."

Karkat earns a lot of tickets from the basketball game, "yes," he grabs them and walks to a different game.

"Karkat!" Dave grabs his shoulder, "where have you been?!"

"Playing," he says and shows him a ton of tickets.

"Whoa, for how long?"

"A few minutes, I am going to go and get a prize."

"We should play some more so we can get a big prize together."

They smile and start playing.

"Hey," Bro finds Dave, "what are you two doing, where is Karkat?"

"Right here," he says caring twice as many tickets as last time.

Dave frowns at him, "how are you so good at these games?!" He asks only holding a hand full of tickets.

"I am just good at them," he says with a cocky grin, "here take some."

"No thanks," Dave says.

Karkat rolls his eyes as they walk to the counter, "hi, can I get that and that," he points to a mini disco ball and a small karaoke machine.

"Here you go," the woman says, "you still have fifty tickets left."

"Um," he looks around, "those," she hands him two bracelets that say 'best friends' on them. One is red and the other is gray, "thanks."

He walks passed Dave and hides what he got. Dave gets a ball and a rabbit.

"Here," Karkat hands Dave the Karaoke machine and the mini disco ball looking irritated, "I don't use this kind of stuff and you need to work on your singing."

Dave is a bit shocked, "thanks," he says and puts them next to him.

"And this," he gives him the red bracelet.

"Thanks," he puts it on and sees Karkat wearing a gray one. They eat.

"You are pretty good at the games, but I am better," Bro says.

Karkat looks at him, "I will kick your pale butt," he says and finishes his pizza, "choose your game."

"Let's go," they all watch.

"Hey no flash step!" Karkat growls.

"Can't say that now," Bro says and wins the game.

"Fuck you," Karkat growls and takes his tickets to the counter.

"What is with him?" Bro asks.

Dave walks after him and sees him buy a small black bird stuffed animal and hug it as he walks back to the table.

"What is with you?" Dave asks sitting next to him.

"Nothing," he growls, "leave me alone."

"No," Dave says, "whats up with you, why are you so grouchy?"

"No reason," he hisses.

"Hey you two ready to go?" Bro asks.

"Yes," Karkat puts his shades back on and walks to the door.

After they get back to the Strider apartment Karkat and Dave go to his room.

"Dude," Dave puts down his new things and sits next to Karkat after he throws his hat and shades on the floor.

"What?"

"Here," he puts the rabbit on him.

"Hm?" He looks at it, "thanks," he mutters and throws it on his pile with his new raven and throws the clown back on it.

"Better now?"

"Yes."

Dave smirk, "you were upset I didn't give you anything!"

"Shut up," Karkat growls, "I was upset you didn't except my help!"

"Hm? Why?"

"Friends are supposed to help each other right? Well when you didn't let me I got you thing you might like and I could act like I was doing it for my own benefit."

"I didn't think you were so proud."

"Coming from the one who had to wait to give me the bunny?!"

"Hey," Dave says.

"What?"

"Nothing," he sighs.

**Later that night**

"Karkat, for the love of God get out of the bathroom!" Dave says pounding on the door.

"Sorry!" Karkat yells, "where the fuck are they?"

"Ok I am coming in," Dave walks in to see Karkat only wearing his gray pajama pants, "I really don't care but I need to pee!"

"Fine," Karkat closes the door and brushes his teeth. "I thought you had to pee?"

"Don't look," he says.

"I won't," he says bored. After Dave is done he brushes his teeth.

"Why is this taking you so long?" Then he sees Karkat doesn't have any bandages on, "oh." He notices little bumps on his sides but doesn't say anything.

"Yeah, and I can't find my fucking shirt!"

"Oh," Dave says and looks for a gray shirt, "it is gray right?"

"Yeah," he looks away.

"Oh," Dave walks away.

"Dave, what did you do to my shirt?"

"Um," he points at Lil Cal.

"You are kidding me, right?" Dave shakes his head. "Fuck!" He walks over to Lil Cal and he vanishes, "what the fuck?!"

"Shouldn't you two be in bed?" Bro asks and he is holding Cal.

"Your 'Cal' has my shirt!"

"So, go to bed," Bro says and walks away.

Karkat growls as he walks back to Dave's room, "I want my shirt back later."

"You will get it back," Dave says, "just go to sleep."

Karkat sighs and lies on his plushy pile.

"On the bed," Dave says.

"No," Karkat curls up into a ball wail holding his crab.

"Nope," Dave pulls him on the bed.

"Fuck, FUCK, let me go Strider!"

"No," He makes Karkat lay down, "now sleep."

"Not with you."

"Shut up and sleep," Dave takes off his shades, "or I will make you."

"I would love to see you try."

"Ok," he hugs Karkat, "now you can't escape."

"Fuck let me go!" Karkat struggles and is careful not to scratch Dave.

"Just sleep," Dave gives him his crab and goes to sleep still hugging Karkat.

"Hn," Karkat hugs his crab and goes to sleep.

**Cute right?**

**If you liked it review.**

**If you didn't, then do whatever you want but I don't want to read your hate reviews.**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

**I don't own Homestuck, just this plot**

**I am glad people like this.**

**Fuck! I can't believe I did that! I am so sorry!**

* * *

Dave wakes up first the next day, Karkat is on top of him, nuzzled into his chest and hugging him. Dave also has his arms around him, "um," he is blushing when he realizes they are both only wearing pants. "Oh well," he pulls the blanket over them and goes back to sleep hugging Karkat.

Karkat wakes up an hour later, "hm?" He sits up groggily and wakes Dave back up, "morning fuck ass," he gets off of him.

"Morning Karkitty," he says.

Karkat flips him off and grabs his crab, "I am not a cat."

"But you purr like one," he says smiling.

Karkat hits him with his pillow in the face, "shut up."

"Ok Karkles," he says and sits next to him on the bed, "let's go and get something to eat."

"Whatever," he yawns and follows Dave after throwing a shirt on that he finds on the floor.

"Dude," Dave says when he hands him a bowl of cereal, "you are wearing my shirt." He looks at his red record shirt on him.

"I was cold," he says and starts eating not giving two fucks at the moment about anything, "and it is your fault for leaving it out."

"Ok," Dave says, "be right back," he comes back with his heart shirt on.

"Ok," Karkat says ignoring him.

"Morning," Bro says in only boxers.

"Morning," they say, Karkat doesn't look up from his empty bowl.

"Well why are you wearing Dave's clothes Kar?"

"Got cold," he says and pours himself another bowl of cereal.

"Cute," he says and they both choke on their cereal.

Karkat looks at him and flips him off, "don't get the wrong idea Bro. And put on some pants!"

"Then what is the right idea?"

"Cal stole my shirt last night," he says.

He looks at Cal, "How does this fit him?"

"Shut the fuck up," Karkat walks to Dave's room after putting his bowl on the counter.

"Why didn't you put it on the dishwasher?" Bro asks and he stops.

"I know you have a sword in there," Karkat says then goes into Dave's room.

Dave walks back to see Karkat curled up in his animal pile, "not again, Karkles, normal people do not sleep in stuffed animal piles."

"DO I look like a normal person to you?"

"NO but…"

"Then shut up." Karkat pulls the blanket off on Dave's bed on top of him, "FUCK!"

"What?"

"I am stuck!"

"What?"

"I am fucking stuck under here!" He screams and Dave's watches him roll off of his animal pile.

"Stay still," Dave makes him stand up and tries to untangle him, "how did you do this?"

"How the fuck should I know?" He asks and tries to free himself.

"NO, don't move," Karkat falls on Dave, "ouch, dude!"

"Fuck!" He rolls off of Dave still trying to free himself.

"Stay still and I will get you out," Dave says and grabs pat of the blanket then he sees Karkat freeze and whimper. "I am holding your horn aren't I?"

"Y-yes," he says and Dave let's go.

"Stay still," after thirty minutes Karkat is free.

"Finally," Karkat stands up.

"How did that even happen," he throws he blanket back on his bed.

"How should I know," he rubs his horns a little.

"Wow."

"What?"

"You look better in my shirt than I do,"

"What?" He looks at the shirt he has on.

"You forgot you were wearing my shirt?"

"Shut it," he growls, "here take it back," he takes it off and throws it at Dave's face.

"You can wear it," he says holding it out but Karkat already has on a black shirt sleeve shirt with a gray cancer symbol on it.

"No thanks," he says and Dave drops the shirt on the floor.

"Would you clean it up," Karkat says.

"It doesn't matter," Dave says.

"Fine," Karkat sits on the bed and puts his stuffed animals back in him Sylladex.

"Why are you packing up already?"

"Just because," he says, "now what?"

"Don't forget your new cloths," Dave throws him the cloths and shade he gave him.

"Yeah, yeah," he puts the hat on and puts everything else in his Sylladex.

They stare at each other until Bro knocks at the door, "hey little dudes, Kanri is here."

"OK," Karkat and Dave walk down stairs and Karkat hugs Kanri, "hi mom."

"HI Honey," she says, "did you two have fun?"

"Yeah."

"New hat?" She asks.

"Dave gave it to me, and a new set of cloths," he says.

"They weren't cool enough before," he says and she sees the bracelet on his arm.

"And bracelets are?"

He covers it with his sleeve and Karkat covers his with his hand.

"Wear whatever you want," she says, "see ya," they leave.

**Tell me if you liked it, I want to see some new reviews before I update again.**

**If you didn't like it then go the fuck away! Gog, why are you still here if you don't like it?!**

**Again I am sorry about the late fix.**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

**Hi, you know the drill, i don't own Homestuck, just the plot.**

**Since the chapter I fixed was small I thought you would like two to read!**

**Guest: Don't worry about it, I thought it was cool.**

* * *

**Two years later**

Karkat's and Dave's friendship has grown a lot since they first met, "ok Karkles," Dave says over the phone, "we will watch a movie every Friday from now on."

"Fuck yeah," Karkat says with the hat on that Dave gave him, "oh I have to go, later."

"Bye," Karkat hangs up his cell phone and shoves it in his pants. It has a Cancer sign case on it.

"Karkat," Kanri walks to him at his desk, "were you on the phone?"

"No, why?"

She looks at him then signs, "if you keep lying to me I will ground you from it. Why don't you two just Pesterchum each other?"

"I forgot about that," Karat says.

"Don't forget to say hi to your other friends."

"Ok. Oh and I was talking to Dave."

"I know that," she smiles and walks out of his room.

Karkat smirks and goes on his laptop. He pulls up Pesterchum, he has version 7.0 like Dave.

- carcinoGeneticist[CG] begins to pester turntechGodhead [TG]

CG : HEY STRIDER, ARE YOU THERE?!

TG : hey karkles, is something wrong

CG : BORED!

TG : sorry bro do you wana talk more

CG : NOT OVER THE PHONE, I AM ANNOYING MY MOM.

TG : oh I have to go

CG : WHY?

TG : I have to go a spar with Bro

CG : AGAIN?! UGH, FINE PESTER ME WHEN YOU WAKE YOUR BUTT UP AFTER BEING THROWN DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS! AGAIN!

TG : I am going to win this time dude I can feel it

CG : IS THIS LIKE THE LAST FEELING WHEN I HAD TO BANDGED YOU UP OR THE ONE BEFROE THAT WHEN I HAD TO TAKE CARE OF YOU AND MY MOM SCOLDED BRO FOR THREE WEEKS?

TG : shut up this time will be different

CG : HAVE FUN AND DON'T FUCKING DIE.

- carcinoGeneticist[CG] ceases to pester turntechGodhead [TG]

Karkat leans back in his chair then his computer goes off.

- ghostyTrickster [GT] begins to pester carcinoGeneticist [CG]

GT : hi Karkat

CG : HELLO EGBERT

GT : come on Karkat, what is wrong with you now? Is Dave ignoring you again?

CG: SHUT UP EGBERT! WHY DID YOU PESTER ME?

GT : isn't your birthday coming up?

CG: …..

GT : june 12 right?

CG :….

GT : karkat? Hello, Earth to Karkat, are you still here? Did you forget your own birthday? Again!

CG : SHUT UP! SO WHAT IF I FORGET MY BIRTHDAY SOMETIMES, IT DOESN'T MATTER!

GT : dude, how many time have you forgotten it?

CG : MORE TIMES THEN I WILL EVER ADMIT.

GT : that is sad.

CG : SHUT UP! WHY DO YOU WANT TO KNOW ANYWAY?

GT : I am sending you a present. :)

CG : NO, OH GOG NO, I DO NOT WANT ANOTHER FAKE ASS PRESENT FROM YOU!

GT : but this one is real, I swear!

CG : I WILL NEVER BELIEVE YOU AGAIN EGBERT! NEVER!

GT : I said I was sorry for the shaving cream thing.

CG : NEVER!

GT : :( will you forgive me if Dave tells you that I am really sorry? I know his word means more than mine to you.

CG : *FLIPS GT OFF* OK I REALLY DON'T CARE IF STRIDER TELLS ME TO TRUST YOU, I WILL NEVER TRUST YOU IDIOT!

GT : come on Karkat, please?

CG : FUCK YOU!

GT : we are still friends right?

CG : YES WE ARE YOU FUCKTARD.

GT : good, :)

CG : -_-,

GT : what?

CG : I HAVE TO GO, JADE IS TRYING TO TALK TO ME.

GT : dude, you always do this! Whenever I call you wait but when someone else calls you cut our chats short!

CG : BUT I HAVE A GOOD REASON THIS TIME.

GT : fine explain it to me.

CG : OUR LAST 'CHAT' DIDN'T END AS SOOTHLY AS I HOPED AND I NEED TO EXPLAIN A FEW THINGS.

GT : oh my god, did you cues Jade out again and leave in a fit of rage?

CG : YOU KNOW WHAT SHUT UP AND GOOD BYE!

GT : don't block me this time!

- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceases to pester ghostyTrickster [GT]

Karkat takes a deep breath and adjusts his hat.

- gardenGnostic [GG] begins to pester carcinoGeneticist [CG]

[GG] : hi Karkat!

[CG] : HELLO JADE.

[GG] : a little birdy told me that it your birthday is coming up! :) ;)

[CG] : I AM GOING TO KILL EGBERT! SO WHAT?

[GG] : why didn't you tell me?! :( I might not be able to send you a present on time!

[CG] WHAT IS IT WITH YOU GUYS AND TRYING TO SEND ME THINGS?! I DON'T NEED ANYTHING, JUST WISH ME A HAPPY BIRTHDAY OR SOMETHING OVER PESTERCHUM AND WE WILL BE FINE!

[GG] : nope, you will get something from me :) maybe something about Dave.

[CG] : FUCK YOU HARLEY! DO YOU REALLY WANT TO GET ME SOMETHING?

[GG] : yes!

[CG] : FINE, DO WHATEVER YOU WANT, FRIEND.

[GG] : yeah, gtg.

[GG] : BYE.

- gardenGnostic [GG] ceases to pester carcinoGeneticist [CG]

Karkat closes his laptop and walks into the kitchen to get a snack, "birthdays are so stupid," he mutters as he gets a drink and goes back to his room. He opens his laptop to see someone else pestering him.

- terminallyCapricious [TG] is trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

[TG] : HeLlO mY BrOtHeR. HoW aRe yOu mY MoThEr fUcKeN BeSt fRiEnD?

[CG] : OH GOG, HELLO TROLL BOY.

[TG] : I ToLd yOu i aM GaMzEe mY BeStEsT FrIeNd.

[CG] : I KNOW THAT, YOU TELL ME EVERYTIME YOU TROLL ME GAMZEE. WHAT DO YOU WANT THIS TIME?

[TG] : To wIsH YoU A HaPpY MoThEr fUcKiNg wRigGlEr dAy.

[CG] : ONE MY BIRTHDAY IS TOMORROW AND TWO IS WRIGGLER DAY SUPPOSED TO BE YOUR VISION OF BIRTHDAYS OR SOMETHING?

[TG] : YeS. : o ) hOnK

[CG] : I HAVE TO GO NOW.

[TG] : WhY?

[CG] : GOOD BYE GAMZEE.

- carcinoGeneticist [CG] blocked terminallyCapricious [TG]

"Now," he shut off his laptop so he can avoid more trolls, "what the fuck do?" He changes his cloths out of sheer boredom. Now he is wearing a long sleeve black shirt and gray jeans with his cancer necklace showing.

"Karkat," Kanri yells and he walks into the living room.

"Yes?"

"I am going to give you an early present, sit down."

"Ok," he does.

She hands him a box, "open it."

"Ok," he says and rips the paper off, "a new pair of sickles!" He holds them out, "and they are real!"

"You are old enough for real ones now," she says and roughs up his hair, "happy birthday."

"Thanks," he says and hugs him mom, "is it ok if I go for a walk?"

"Sure," she pats his head, "be back before dinner," she walks into the kitchen.

Karkat puts his sickles in his Sylladex and leaves. He walks to the park and sits on the swings until someone recognizes him, "hey K!" The boy runs up to him, he is the same boy that Karkat showed how to skate the first time Bro took him and Dave to the park.

"Hi fucker," Karkat greets him.

The boy doesn't take it as an insult, "hey can you show me your moves again?" He asks with pleading eyes.

"I am not fucking skating again today, leave me alone."

"Ah, why now?!"

"Because I don't fucking want to," he growls.

The boy can't tell that he is angering Karkat, "but K, those guys said you suck balls at skating," he says pointing at a group of boys.

"What, oh fuck them?!" Karkat walks with the boy to the skating area.

"So you are K?" The tallest boys, he is wearing a lot of pads and a helmet.

"Yeah I am, so what fucktard?"

"Show me your moves," he demands, "and then maybe I will teach you how to really skate."

Karkat flips him off, "you aren't worth my fucking time."

"Look who is a chicken."

"I don't have my board," Karkat says even though he has the one Dave gave him a few years ago with him.

"You can borrow mine," the boy says.

"You aren't going to leave me alone until I fucking do this are you?"

"Nope," the boy smiles and holds his board out.

"Fuk you all," Karkat pulls out his red board with a bleeding gray cancer sign on the bottom and goes skates, he turns his hat backwards. While he is skating he flips into a hand stand and balances on one hand for the rest of the time. When he is done he jumps off his board and it stop in front of the tall boy. Karkat turns his hat back and flips back up to then then lands on his board without losing his balance, "well?"

"What the fuck are you?!" The tall boy asks but the other boy is applauding Karkat's performance.

"I am as human as you are," he says smartly and puts his Skate board in his Sylladex, "later fucktard," he walks away. Dave ring tone goes off, _Cooler Than Me_, "hello?"

"Hey Karkles, nice moves."

"How did you see that Strider?!"

"It is up on your YouTube page."

"I don't have a YouTube page!"

"NO the one made by your little fan," Dave says, "you are a real show off you know that right."

"Yes I fucking am," Karkat says, "I am glad to hear you are finally awake."

Dave sighs, "I was never asleep. Oh, come over since you are out."

"Why? You are coming over tomorrow," Karkat says.

"Don't care, since you are at the park, be here in ten minutes or I will drag you here myself."

"Dave do you really think you can fucking drag me to your house?"

"Be here in nine minutes," Dave hangs up.

"Ugh," Karkat walks to his house and in nine minutes he sees Dave walking to him, "I am coming!"

"Nope you lost your chance to walk," he picks Karkat up bridle style.

"Fuck Strider put me down!" Karkat struggles to be put down.

"No way dude, besides you are still way too light."

"SHUT UP YOU FUCKTARD STRIDER…" Dave covers him mouth.

"Shoosh," he says, "you are going to make everyone stare at us," he walks to the door, "open the door would ya?"

"Fine," Karkat pushes it open the closes it when they walk in.

"Look at the new couple," Bro says.

"Shut the fuck up!" Karkat says flipping him off, "PUT ME THE FUCK DOWN!"

"No we still need to go upstairs," Dave walks up the stairs with Karkat.

"Hey don't go too far up there!" Bro says.

"FUCK YOU!" Karkat screams.

"NO that is what Dave wants to do to you!" Bro counters.

Karkat hits him in the head with a smuppet as Dave closes the door. Dave puts Karkat on his bed and takes off is shades, Dave still isn't comfortable taking them off but he knows Karkat likes to see him without them on. Karkat sits up and takes off his hat.

"Why the fuck do you always carry me in your room like that?!"

"Because your reaction is funny and you give up after a while. It is also so you don't break your horns," he says and pokes one.

Karkat smacks his hand away, "still no touching."

"Fine," Dave sits next to him, "so what does Karkles what for his birthday this year?"

Karkat growls, "nothing."

"Like a few years ago and I had to follow you around until I realized you really wanted a skate board so you didn't have to borrow fan boy's board anymore, or when you really wanted that new romcon movie but you stayed so tight lipped about it I almost couldn't get it for you?"

"Shut up," Karkat says looking away.

"SO what do you want? Come on Karkles don't make me follow you around again."

"Well it looks like you will have to follow me because I don't want anything."

"Yes you do dude, and you know it."

"No I don't," he says and his phone goes off, "what the fuck? Oh my Gog."

"Who is it?"

"Gamzee," he says looking at his Pesterchum.

"You got one of the troll's names?"

"Yeah, hang on," Karkat answers Gamzee.

- terminallyCapricious [TG] is trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

[TG] HeY My bEsTeSt FrIeNd!

[CG] HELLO GAMZEE, WHAT DO YOU FUCKING WANT NOW?

[TG] I WaNt tO AsK WhY YoU MoThErFuCkEn hAtE YoUr wRiGgLeR DaY.

[CG] THAT IS NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS GAMZEE, GOOD BYE.

[TG] WaIt, WaIt! KaRbRo

- carcinoGeneticist [CG] blocked terminallyCapricious [TG]

"Sorry, what were you saying?" Karkat asks after he shoves his phone back in his pocket.

"Birthday," Dave says.

"Nothing," Karkat gets up and puts on his hat, "I need to go home for dinner."

"Oh no you don't, I need a present idea so we are going to walk around town until I get one," Dave says as he puts his shades on.

"Whatever the fuck you want Strider," Karkat says walking to the door.

"Oh little dude," Bro says and Karkat looks at him, "I have a good present for you."

"I will give you cancer," Karkat walks out the door.

"What?" Bro watches them leave then calls Kanri, "hey."

"HI Strider, I assume Karkat just left your house?"

"Yeah, but he just threatened to give me cancer."

"Oh it is a joke since his Pesterchum name is related to cancer, he wears the cancer sign around his neck every day, and his full name comes from something related to cancer."

"Why did you do that to him?"

"Why do you call David Dave?"

* * *

"What was with the 'giving you cancer'?" Dave asks

"Everything I do has something to do with cancer," he says.

"Wow," Dave says.

Karkat and Dave walk around town and Dave watches Karkat very carefully as he looks as things, "ok I want this," he points at a new hat.

"Liar," he says and goes back to looking at shades.

"Fuck you," Karkat mutters and looks around some more.

They walk into music store, "look around," Dave orders.

"Ok, hang on," he pulls out his phone and texts his mom.

"Telling Kanri you are going to be late?"

"Yeah," he shoves the phone back in his pocket then looks around. He listens to a lot of music then they leave. "Where to next?"

"Follow me," Dave grabs his arm and pulls him into a hobby store.

"Why the fuck are we in here?"

"Look around," he says and follows Karkat as he looks at everything. A smile creeps onto Dave's face as he watches Karkat walk home, he rushes back to the store and buys what he saw Karkat's eyes light up when he looked at it.

"I am home," Karkat says as he walks in.

"Hi Kar," she says, "out with Dave?"

"Birthday present hunting."

"Why don't you just tell him to buy you something?"

"I do then he accuses me of lying to him."

"Well you were lying to him," she says, "you know he really likes you."

"Not talking about this," Karkat walks into his room.

"Come back out when you want food," she says, he comes back out and stomps into the kitchen to get a plate.

**Adult intuition! Sometimes the scariest thing in the world.**

**Tell me if you liked it, I want some new review before the next chapter goes up!**

**Haters should know the drill by now if they are still reading, I actually know people who read things they hate just to flame it! That is the only reason I add this!**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

**Yo, don't own homestuck, just the plot.**

**Yes Gamzee is in, he is his patron troll.**

* * *

Karkat checks the mail to see three packages, "fuck," he mutters and walks back to his house.

"Hi birthday boy," she says and he sees the cake on the table.

"Hi mom," he puts down the packages.

"You can open them now if you want," she says.

Karkat takes out his sickles and opens them; he opens Jade's first, "pumpkin and flower seed?" He looks at them. He opens Rose's next, "what am I a woman?" He looks at the knitting needles and yarn that came with it, red and gray.

"Maybe she hear about your love for making those stuffed animals," Kanri says form the kitchen.

"Grrr." He looks at John's present, he picks it up and walks to the trash can.

"Karkat Vantas!" He stops before he drops it in the trash can.

"What?"

"Do not throw your friends gift away."

"It is from Egber…. I mean John," he says, "and you remember the shaving cream bomb from last year."

"Use your sickles to open it away from the present so if it rigged to go off you won't get hit."

He does and jumps back when he opens it, after a few seconds he walks back to find a book on pranks and a note, 'sorry about last year.' "I swear to Gog I will kill him one day," Karkat says and looks in the book, "so that is how he did it."

"Book on pranks from John?"

"Yeah." He looks at his phone, "dead?" He plugs it in in his room then tries his laptop, "this is dead too?!" He plugs it in and leaves his room.

"Aren't you going to thank your friends?"

"Everything is dead," he says with a shrug, "I will thank them later."

"Ok," she says and Karkat takes his new things into his room. He looks through the book some more and finds new movie poster.

"Maybe I will just hurt him some," Karkat says hanging up his new poster. He finds some pranks about hair dye in the book, "Gog if John ever dyes my hair he will die."

"What about John and hair?" Dave asks as he walks into Karkat's room.

"Hi," he says and sits up, "Egbert gave me a book on pranks this year instead of pranking me, and so if he dyes my hair," he shows Dave the page, "I will kill him."

"Oh," Dave says, "yeah you would look weird without black hair and it might screw up your horns."

"I didn't think about that," he says and makes a mental note to never use anything John sends him that can be used in the bathroom.

"Here you go Karkles," he hands him two boxes.

"Ok, let's see how you did this year," he opens the first to see a new CD, the sound track from one of his romcons. "OK this one is good," he puts it down and opens the next one, "ok you win." He looks at the newest movie to add to his collection and a poster to add to his wall. He also gave him a poster of the Midnight Crew.

"Yeah I did Karkles," Dave says, Karkat takes Dave's shades off of him.

"Now what?"

"Show me what else you got," Dave says.

"Ok," he throws the yarn at his head and he is unconscious, "really? You are asleep because of yarn, and you called me weak?" Karkat waits but he doesn't wake up, "damn it Strider," he puts Dave's head on his lap and waits.

Bro walks in, "hey," he looks down at Dave, "what happen?"

"I hit him with yarn," he says holding up the red yarn, "is it ironic that he got knocked out by his color and not mine? Or just sad because he was knocked out by yarn? Oh maybe it is ironic because he is always calling me weak then he is knocked out by YARN!"

"Yes that is ironic," he says, "just wake him up."

"I am not hitting him again; you see how that worked out."

Bro walks up to Dave and whispers, "if you don't wake up Karkat is going to die."

"What?!" Dave's head shoots up and he looks around for Karkat.

Karkat is holding his chest, "holly fuck Strider, you scared the shit out of me!"

Bro is smiling, "see if something was to happen to you Dave would be very sad."

"Shut up Bro."

"Have fun, oh and Dave."

"What?"

"Stay away from the yarn," Bro says laughing and leaves.

"Damn it," he says blushing. Karkat smiles at him and hands him the yarn, "Rose?"

"Yeah and I also got these large knitting needles," he holds them up.

"Ok."

"I got these seeds from Jade," he hands them to him, "and the book from John, and a poster."

"What about your mom?"

"My new sickles," he shows them to Dave, "and they are real."

"Nice, but I have been handling real sword for much longer."

"Hey, at least I didn't have cuts all over my body for a year wail learning how to use them."

"Touché," Dave says with a shrug, "but you did fall of the roof."

"Ok shut up, you have fallen off a roof more than me."

"I am just saying Karkles."

"Whatever Strider," Karkat says, "don't make me knock you out with yarn again."

"Hey that stuff is hard!"

Karkat throws it in the air and lets it hit him on the head, "no it isn't, you no longer have the right to call me weak," he picks it up.

Dave tackles him to the ground and Karkat yelps in shock, Dave holds his arms down, "you were saying Karkles?" He asks with a stoic grin on his face.

"Fuck you," he says then rams his head into Dave's. He falls back holding his forehead and Karkat curls up into a ball holding his head. "FUCK!"

"Oh my God that hurt!" Dave screams.

"What is going on in here?" Kanri asks as she look in the room, "Dave did you restrain Karkat?"

"What?" Dave asks.

"Here is a quick note, if you hold him down make sure he can't hit you with anything," she says, "because if he can hit you he will," she closes the door and leaves.

"Do I want to know?" Dave asks as he stands up.

"I used to hate taking baths," he says, Dave holds his hand out and helps Karkat up.

"I can see why," he says, "you are so shy."

"Do not make me head butt you again."

"You wouldn't," he says.

"From the time that you have known me Strider, do I ever joke when I threaten to hurt you?"

"Don't!" Dave says.

"Ok," he sits on his stuffed animal pile with a smirk.

"Oh God not that again, come on Karkles I thought you stopped doing that!"

"Nope," Karkat says and hugs his raven, "I still sleep here sometimes."

"Ok now I am going to hurt you," Dave says and throws Karkat over his shoulder.

"What are you going to do?" Karkat asks not struggling and is still holding his raven.

"This," he flips him onto his bed, "this is where you sleep, not in those toys."

Karkat gets up and sits back on his pile, "no."

"Yes," he picks him up and puts him back on the bed.

Karkat moves back to the pile, "no."

"Yes," they continue this until Dave gets too tired to carry Karkat to his bed. "Get on you bed!"

"Fine," he walks to his bed and Dave falls on the floor.

"Dave."

"What?" He groans.

"You don't sleep on the floor, you sleep on a bed."

Dave looks up at him then lets his head fall back on the floor. Karkat sits on him, "Karkles?"

"Yes," he asks and looks at his face.

"Why are you sitting on me, it doesn't hurt or anything but, why?"

"Because, you are a bed."

Dave smiles then rolls over and makes Karkat lay on top of him properly, "ok then go to sleep."

"I am not tired," he says and gets up, "come on Strider we still have cake to eat."

"Not batter witch?"

"Homemade fuck ass."

"Good," they walk to the kitchen.

They sing happy birthday and Karkat blows out the candles, "now for my present," Bro hands him a long box.

Karkat looks at him suspicious, "I really don't want to open this," he sighs and does it anyway. Smuppets pop out, "AHH!"

"What the fuck?!" Dave asks, "I though you gave him a sword!"

"I did," he says, "it is under the trap, I mean puppet presents."

Karkat gets up with a smuppet on his head and he picks up the sword, "GRRRR!"

"It is an unbreakable sword," Bro says with a smirk.

"Roof now," he flicks the smuppet off of his head and walks to the roof.

"Hey we can't fight here!" Bro says following him.

Karkat is waiting on the slated roof, "hurry up!"

"How are you standing straight on the roof?" Dave asks.

"Practice," he says.

Bro jumps up next to him then throws him off the roof, "Bro!" Kanri screams at him.

Karkat lands on his feet, "hey!"

Bro jumps down next to him, "back in the house," he pushes them all back inside.

"What was that about?" Kanri asks.

"You don't do that stuff unless it in on an apartment roof," he says to Karkat, "you don't want to attract a lot of attention."

"Ok," he says and puts her sword in his Sylladex, "it is late," he says looking at the clock.

"Stay the night you two," Kanri says.

"You have extra rooms?" Bro asks.

"Yes, but I was thinking more like this," she puts Dave's and Karkat's hands together then grabs Bro's and pulls him into her room.

Karkat bursts into laughter, "he didn't see that coming!"

"What the fuck?" Dave asks still holding Karkat's hand.

"That was what happens when someone is clueless," Karkat says still laughing.

Dave smiles and pulls Karkat into his room, "yeah this is what happens," he closes the door when he pulls Karkat in.

**Did anyone see what I did?**

**I want some new comments before the next chapter goes up, thanks.**

**Tell me what you like and Haters can hate somewhere else.**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

**I am sad that no one hs reviewed but I wrote this chapter already to it is time to update**

**Don't own homestuck, just this plot**

**I know it is no where near Halloween but I am in a costume mood so this was written**

**I can't believe this has 996 views! Thanks**

* * *

Karkat, Dave, Bro, and Kanri are looking around a store for Halloween costumes, "hey," Karkat says, "I will pick yours and you will pick mine. We have to wear what the other picks for us to wear, deal?"

"Deal," they run off in different directions.

"Three, two, one," Kanri counts off and they run back because they both went to wrong way, then go the opposite direction they went the first time.

"So what are you going to be Bro?"

"Check it," he shows her a My Little Pony costume.

She smiles at him, "c-cool," she says trying not to laugh.

"What about you?"

"Don't know yet," she looks around.

* * *

Dave and Karkat meet at the changing room with each other's costumes in black bags, "here you go Karkles," they exchange and walk into the changing room.

"Strider!" Karkat walks out in a red suit with a red cape and red horns, (red plastic over his horns), and fake fangs that stick out of his mouth, "what the fuck?!"

"That is what I should be saying!" Dave walks out without his shades on, he has long orange wings, a white suit with a black tie, and a halo over his head, "what the heck Karkles?!"

"I am a demon!" Karkat says irritated.

"Yeah and I look like an angel with red eyes!"

Bro and Kanri walk over to them, "wow I like it," she says, "two halves of the same whole."

"What?" Karkat asks.

"Angels and demons, good and evil," she says, "like yin and yang."

"Or pale and gray," Karkat mutters.

"Yep," she says, "speaking of which," she sighs, "go ahead," Bro vanishes.

"What is he doing?" Dave asks.

"Picking my costume."

"You know you will regret that," Dave says.

"Yeah I know."

"Let's change into our normal cloths, people are staring," Karkat and Dave change.

"I know what you will be," he says smiling, "but I have to make it. Oh you are going to need a lot of gray make-up."

"Hang on," Karkat walks away and comes back with a tub of it; "do you need clay too?"

"Yes!"

"Hold this," he gives the bucket of gray paint to Bro and walks away to find good clay, "this is the good kind, the cheaper kind will break as soon as you try to put it on something."

"Well look who knows his clays."

"I got bored and made bigger horns once."

"Once?" Dave asks.

"Shut up," he walks to the counter.

"How many pairs of horns do you have?!" Dave runs after him.

"The answer is one; he is just messing with him."

"Good," Bro says, "um…"

"I will pay," she takes his costume.

* * *

"Tell me!"

"No," Karkat says.

"Put the costumes on the counter so I can pay," Kanri says and they do. After she pays they go to the Strider's house.

"Tell me," Dave says.

"Or what?!" Karkat snaps.

"I will never take my shades off around you again," he says.

"Then I will never remove my hat around you again," Karkat says crossing his arms.

"I won't wear the costume," Dave says.

"Go ahead and don't wear it," Karkat snaps and Dave is shocked but Karkat can't see that because of his shades, "why should I fucking care! DO whatever the fuck you want!" Karkat walks down stairs and leaves.

"Damn it," Dave runs out of his room, "Karkles!"

"He just left," Kanri says.

"Thanks," Dave runs out the door after him.

"Hey!" Dave stops, "give this to him," she tosses him Karkat's phone.

"Ok," he leaves.

* * *

"Damn it," Karkat can't find his phone. He goes home and sits in his room. "Stupid Strider."

Dave knocks on the door, "Karkles open the door!"

"Screw you!" He says.

"Karkles come on! I am sorry!"

"No you aren't," Karkat walks to the door and opens it, "you are lying. And you know what? I only have one pair of fucking horns."

"OK it doesn't matter, I am fucking sorry!"

"Still don't believe you," Karkat says, "prove to me that you are truly sorry."

"I run my mouth all the time dude, you know that!"

"Tell me why you are sorry," Karkat says leaning on the door.

"I am sorry for the costume thing."

"Nope, bye," Karkat stands up and grabs the door.

"I am sorry for saying I wouldn't wear the costume!"

Karkat leans on the door again, "continue."

"And for saying I wouldn't take my shades off around you again!"

"And I am sorry about the hat," he says, "now come in before people think you are stalking me again."

Dave smiles and walks in, "why don't I get a full apology?"

"Because this is my fucking house," he says, "just be glad you got one."

"Oh you forgot this," he gives Karkat his phone.

"Thanks," he shoves it in his pocket.

"Can I see the horns?"

"Come on fuck ass," they walk into Karkat's room and he shows him the horns, "I put them on mine and they grow five inches."

"Yeah but that would be a lot harder to hide."

"So," Karkat takes them off, "they are just toys."

"Oh, why did you get me the angel costume?" Karkat sits on his bed and Dave does too.

"Do you want the truth or something that could be plausible?"

"Truth Karkles."

"Ok, I could see you actually dressing like that on a normal bases."

"Really?"

"Yeah, now why the fuck am I a demon?"

"Karkles, man, I love you but you can be evil and scary as fuck sometimes," Dave says.

"Good," he says then smiles a little, "so I scare you?"

"Sometimes."

"When?"

"When you try to kill me."

"OK that was one time!"

"No, that was one time this month," Dave says, "I have a list of the attempts if you want to see."

"I have never tried to kill you, I have hurt you several time though, accidently and purposely."

Dave stares at him, "you are a crazy mother fucker Karkles," Dave says, "I should have made you a vampire."

"You still can if you want," Karkat pulls out his costume, "all we would have to do it style my hair so it covers my horns."

"No, stay the demon," he says then grins, "I know how to get you in school."

"What?"

"Style your hair up to cover your horns! It is fucking genius, why didn't we think of this before!"

"Because it is a dumb plane, Dave if I got wet then 'hey look you have nubby horns!' 'why is this child gray?' And questions like that will be asked and we will have to move away."

"Why?"

"Because people will want to know what caused my mutation, I don't go to hospitals for a reason Strider."

"So that is why you can are good at being a nurse?"

"Fuck you," he says flipping him off.

"Hey I am just telling the truth, you are good and bandaging people up, you are really fucking fast."

"Hello, I have too much practice."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"Fuck yeah it is a bad thing! Who do you think I practice on?!"

"Wait, how much have you hurt yourself trying new things?"

"More than I will admit to you," he says, "I am going to bed."

"Why?"

"Look at the fucking clock," he points at the wall, "mom is staying at your house."

"Whoa, midnight," Dave says, "ok, time to sleep," he picks Karkat up.

"Fucking really Strider?"

"Fuck yeah," he says.

"No, the fuck yeah is mine," Karkat says as he cares him to his room.

"So I can say fuck and yeah but not fuck yeah?"

"Right."

"Whatever," he says and cuddles with Karkat in his bed, "night."

"Good night fucktard."

**There you go**

**Tell me if you liked it**

**Haters can go suck a bulge**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

**I don't own Homestuck, just this plot.**

**Thanks for the review MimiKeehl-Jeevas**

* * *

"I wonder why my mom isn't home yet," Karkat asks, he has a towel on his head because he just got out of the shower.

"Maybe they are on a date?" Dave says.

"Date?"

"Yeah, wait you have never heard of a date?!"

"So what?"

"Well it is when two people do things together when they really like each other."

"Like us?" Karkat asks, "We hang out all the time and we don't hate each other."

"But we aren't dating," Dave says, "we aren't a couple or anything," he says looking away.

"Ok, so we hang out and your brother and my mom date?"

"Yeah I guess," he says.

"OK," he says, "why the fuck are you blushing?"

"No reason," he says, "I should go home," Dave puts on his shades and leaves.

"Later," Karkat says.

"See ya tonight Karkles," Dave closes the door.

Karkat walks into his room and puts on some makeup that makes him look a human skin tone, he puts on his costume, "hn, so this is how I will fucking look tonight?" He takes a picture then gets on his laptop.

- terminallyCapricious [TG] is trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

[TG] HeLlO My bRoThEr.

[CG] HELLO GAMZEE, WHAT DO YOU WANT TODAY?

[TG] I WaNt tO KnOw wHy yOu aRe wEaRiNg tHaT CoStUmE.

[CG] IT IS FOR HALLOWEEN. I A GOING AS A DEMON, SINCE YOU CAN SEE ME THEN YOU MUST HAVE SEEN STRIDER.

[TG] YeAh mOtHeRfUcKeR, hE Is fLuShEd fOr YoU.

[CG] FLUSHED? IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN HE HAS A CRUSH ON ME OR SOMETHING, OR IS THAT FOR A DIFFERENT VERSION OF YOUR MESSE UP FOUR PART FUCKING LOVE SQUARE?

[TG] YoU WeRe rIgHt tHe fIrSt tImE.

[CG] OK, ANYTHING ELSE?

[TG] NoPe, HoNk. : O )

[CG] ):B

[TG] YoU DiD OnE! (O:

[CG] SHUT UP. ):B. BYE!

- carcinoGeneticist [CG] blocks terminallyCapricious [TG]

Karkat closes his laptop, "ugh, talking to him always makes me so fucking pissed!" _Cooler Than Me_ starts to play from Karkat's phone, "Gog Strider, you just left," he picks it up, "hello?" He is washing the make-up off.

"Unlock the door and let me back in, I will not go back to my house ever again," Dave says.

Karkat opens the door, "what happen?"

Dave walks in then looks at Karkat, "why are you in your costume?"

"I was bored," he says and they walk to the kitchen, "catch," he throws him an apple juice, "now tell me what you saw."

"Ok," they sit in the living room, "I saw them kissing."

"What?"

"I know!"

"Why the fuck is that such a big deal?"

"Dude, if they get married then I will be your uncle or something!"

"Not by blood so it doesn't fucking matter," Karkat says, "stop shitting bricks and drink the A.J."

Dave smiles, "no need to tell me twice," he finishes it.

"Do you still have your costume?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Change," he says.

"Why?"

"Just fucking do it," he says with a grin.

"Fine," Dave changes in the bathroom, "I can't get the fucking wings on!"

"Come out and I will help," Dave walks out and Karkat puts his wings on him.

"So what now?"

"This," Karkat pulls out his sickles, "kneel angel boy."

"So the demon thinks he can order me around?" Dave pulls out his sword, "try and make me."

"Fake weapons," Karkat mutters and Dave switches out his sword for a plastic one, "then I will have to take your wings and make you a human beast."

"Ha!" Dave charges at him and Karkat blocks him, "is that the best you got demon? I will send you back to where you came from!" Dave swings his sword at Karkat and he smacks it out of Dave's hands.

"So little angel," Karkat kicks it away and holds the fake sickles to Dave's neck, "what will you do now?"

"Damn it," he hisses, "Karkles this isn't fun anymore."

Karkat raises his eyebrow, "well little angel," he lets him go, "I guess you are now my servant."

"What?"

"I spared your life so now you have to obey me."

"Says who?"

"Me," Karkat holds the fake sickle to his neck again, "got it?"

"Yeah," Dave pushes the sickle away then Karkat start to laugh.

"Why are you so fucking serious, it is just a game," he puts his fake sickles in his Sylladex, "chill."

"What?!" He asks irritated, Karkat is the only person in the world that can make him drop his cool kid act. "You are the one who made up this stupid fucking game!"

"What is wrong with you?"

"You didn't stop it when it stopped being funny!" Dave says.

"Sorry, I didn't fucking know it made you shit bricks from discomfort."

"Enough with the shitting bricks thing!"

"Fine," Karkat says, "you need to take a fucking chill pill Strider," he throws him some apple juice, "drink it and chill."

"I will not 'chill' who taught you that word anyway?"

"You," he says and drinks a soda, "why are you so pissed today?"

"I am not pissed," he says, "damn it where are my shades?!" He looks around.

Karkat sighs when he picks them up and Dave is still looking for them, "hey dumb ass, look at me," he puts them on.

"What Karkles?" Dave doesn't.

"Just look," he says.

Dave looks at him, "my shades!"

"I just found them," he says with the same smirk Dave does when he knows something.

"Give," he says.

"Why?" HE asks, "you look better with them off."

Dave blushes, "what?"

"I like being able to see your eyes, they are nice," Karkat says, "oh fuck did I just say something wrong? Why is your face red, are you sick?!"

"N-no," Dave looks away, _damn it Karkles! Why did you have to phrase it like that?!_

"Are you fucking sure," Karkat puts his hand on Dave's forehead, "oh I know what is wrong now!"

Dave is shocked, _no don't say it!_

He runs into the kitchen then hands him more A.J. "you are still thirsty," he says.

_OH thank God he is stupid sometimes!_ "Y-yeah," he takes it.

"It's not like what Gamzee said about you liking me is true or anything."

Dave spits out his juice, "he said what now?!"

"He said you like me a lot," Karkat says, "but not like bros, like, like like me."

"That is stupid," Dave says drinking his apple juice, _thank God he is really dumb when it comes to people liking him. He can spot anyone else but not when it comes to himself._

"Yeah," Karkat says, "it isn't like I would like you back like that anyway," _I wonder when he will figure out I like him like that? Knowing him I will have to just tell him, but not now, maybe some fucking other time when he isn't shitting bricks._

"Yeah, we are bros Karkles not lovers."

Karkat sticks out his tongue, "gross Strider, I think I need to go and fucking puck."

"Maybe you are the one who is sick," Dave says and takes the shades from him, "Karkles do you ever fucking sleep when I don't make you?"

"Shut up," he says and walks into his room.

"Hey," when Dave walks in Karkat has already changed.

"What?" He hangs his costume in his closet.

"Never mind," Dave changes, "that is better."

"Well we are going to be wearing this all night tonight," Karkat says.

"I know," he says with a sigh, "I hate the wings."

"You look good in them," Karkat says, "like I look good with horns."

Dave looks at him, "Karkles."

"Yeah?"

"Shut up," Dave says.

"What did I say?"

"Shoosh," he covers Karkat's mouth and petting his head, "shoosh."

Karkat sits on his bed very relaxed as Dave, shooshes him, he starts to purr. Karkat notices and runs away from him, "don't do that!"

"What, you looked really relaxed," Dave says.

"Yeah, too relaxed! I don't want to go to fucking sleep!"

"Why do you hate sleep?"

"For good reasons."

"Dude, if you have nightmares or something…"

"No, I don't want to go back to that place!" He snaps then covers his mouth, "shit!"

"What place Karkles?"

"You aren't awake yet, I can't tell you," Karkat says, "Gog damn it Jade I hate you!"

"Why does this have to do with Jade?"

"She is the one who told me I shouldn't go right out and tell you everything. But haven't you ever wondered why she is always fucking asleep?"

"Well, no, I am too worried about you _not_ sleeping."

Karkat sighs, "Until you wake up then I won't tell you."

"Wake up where?"

"Your fucking dream self, when you wake up there then I will take to you about why I don't sleep as much as I should."

Dave sighs, "so how do you wake up this 'dream self'?"

"How the fuck should I know, all I know is I woke up there and now every time I sleep I go to that place."

"The place got a name?"

"Prospit," Karkat says, "go ask Jade about it. Besides you aren't here, I have looked and all I have found is Jade and John, who is still sleeping like you."

"Well where am I then?"

"Derse."

"Derse? Why am I there?"

"You don't make your bed," Karkat says, "if you did then you would have been on Prospit like me."

Dave is silent, "so I am on a different planet because I don't know how to make a bed."

"Yep," Karkat says, "well that is how I think it works."

"What has Jade told you then?"

"Nothing," he hisses, "nothing, the only way I can talk to the real Jade is if I go to sleep and that isn't happening."

"You don't like Prospit or something?"

"I don't, every time I go there someone bugs me or Jade drags me around to meet several stupid ass people."

"That is Jade, so you have met her?"

"Yeah, several times, she thinks I am a grouchy fucker. But we are still friends, I think."

Dave sighs, "never mind, just drop the topic and pick a new one."

"Ok," he says, "hey we need to go," he grabs his costume.

"Why?" Dave looks at the clock.

"We are going to miss all the Trick or Treating! I am not missing out on free candy."

"Ok, ok," Dave and Karkat change in different rooms.

"Hurry up fuck ass!" Karkat screams at him.

"Shit the wings are stuck!" Dave walks out to Karkat and the wings are stuck on his head.

"How did you manage to do that?"

"Shut up and help me," Dave says. Karkat fixes him.

"'Here," he hands him a white pillow case, "I get the black one."

"Bring trash bags," Dave says, "we are going to get a lot of candy."

"Fine," He grabs all of the trash bags and puts them in his Sylladex.

"Ok now we can go," they leave.

"What took you two?" Kanri asks standing with Bro, she is gray and has long horns that circle around themselves once then goes straight up. She has on a black shirt with a white Scorpio sign on it.

"We got help up by Dave's wings," Karkat says, "He can't get them on by himself."

"Good job," Kanri says.

Dave is wearing his shades, "let's go and get some candy," he pulls Karkat away.

"Hey," he hisses.

Karkat is glad he brought the trash bags now because Dave was right, they ended up using three each, "this will last us for weeks," Karkat says.

"Weeks?! Dude this will last us a year!" Dave says.

"Follow me," Karkat takes him to the roof of his house, "look up."

"Whoa, nice view," the look up at the stars.

"That is Aquarius, there is Scorpio, over there is Cancer, and that one is Capricorn."

"How do you know that?" Dave asks.

"I sit out here every summer at night and learn the name of each star and constellation."

"Wow, what is that?"

"Pisces," he says, "and that is Oran's Belt."

"Is there anything you don't know right now?"

"Yeah, I don't know a lot of fucking things."

"Like?" Dave asks wanting to see his answer, he takes off his shades.

"When the world will end, why I am awake on Prospit, how did this universe start, who made it? Why am I different from everyone, why do people have to judge others like they do?"

"That is a lot of questions."

"I still have a fucking truck load to say," he says, "but the answer won't make any differences."

"Why the fuck not?!"

"No one would believe me besides you, mom, and Bro. Beside who else would I want to tell, John would think I am quoting a movie or something, Rose will try to put me in another therapy session because to her I have 'issues', and Jade. Oh Gog, then there is Jade, she will believe every word I say but then make me think of a thousand new questions to replace them, she even knows some of the answers but refuses to tell me."

"What does she know?"

"More than she will let on, Prospit lets her see parts of the future. Another reason I hate it there."

"Why, knowing the future is cool. SO if something bad is going to happen, then you can change it."

"I tried that," he says, "it happen the exact same as when I watched it."

"What was it?"

"Nothing," he says, "just fucking drop it."

"Fine," he says and they go back to looking at the stars.

* * *

**Hope you liked it, review if you did. And here ends the Halloween part because I love Halloween.**

**Haters can go get Culled**


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

**I don't own Homestuck, just this plot**

**Thanks for the review Metalbeack the great**

* * *

"Hey Strider," Karkat says, "so what does the cool kid what for his birthday?" HE asks with a grin.

"Nothing, I just want to sleep," Dave says and lays back on Karkat's bed.

Karkat glares at him, "do we really need to do this again?"

"What?"

"I make you something shitty then I have to give you something else like a fucking month later because you break and tell me what you want."

"Then yes," he says, "just give me apple juice."

"I did that last year!" Karkat says irritated, "and it was a two year supply that you guzzled down in a month!"

"Yeah that was a good party," Dave says, "but I am still confused about one thing."

"What is that?"

"I could have sworn last year I saw you pale," Dave sits up.

"Stupid," he says, "if you did then I was just your imagination. You must have been high off of apple juice."

"Yeah," he says.

"Dave it is time for us to leave," Bro says.

"K, bye Karkles," Dave leaves.

Karkat grins and pulls out the present he has been waiting to give to Dave all year, "little fucker won't know what hit him," he looks at the new shades he got him after his birthday. He also pulls out a good sword, "there is no fucking way he will be able to break this one," he runs a cloth on it to make sure it stays shiny and puts it back in the box.

"Karkat," Kanri walks in, "do you need me to take you to the store to get something for Dave?"

"Nope," Karkat says and shows her the shades, "this will be enough for him."

"Ok," she says, "oh and while I am gone I need you to make a cake ok?"

"Sure, for Strider right?"

"Yes for the Striders, if I let Bro try to cook it they will have to stay with us again like last year."

"I still don't understand why he thought it would be a good idea to cook it for three hours and leave the house while it was cooking."

"Striders like to stride, I guess," she says "thanks sweetie."

"Whatever," he says.

"Whats wrong?" She sits next to him, "are you worried about the shades?"

"NO!"

"Then what is bothering my little wriggler," she asks.

"I am not a baby anymore!" He says.

"I have seen you cook a lot you can bake a simple cake, I will frost it when I get back."

"NO I will do it," Karkat says, "I will make it by myself!"

"Ok," she says, "I will be back in an hour."

"Ok," he says and watches her leave.

He goes into the kitchen and starts baking the cake, "ok so nothing with Betty Crocker." He looks over all the ingredients to make sure, "good." After making it he sticks it in the oven, "now for the frosting." He makes fresh frosting and dyes half of it red. Karkat cleans up since the cake is still baking, "ugh my hands are red from the fucking dye," he washes the dishes he isn't using and his hands.

_Cooler Than Me_ starts playing from his phone, Karkat dries his hands then answers, "hey Karkles, are you busy?"

"Yes I am actually."

"What, well it can't be that important, I need your help."

Karkat looks at the oven, "what is wrong?"

"My Bro is trying to cook," Dave is watching his from outside of the kitchen, "I didn't even know our oven worked."

Karkat is shocked, "tell him, wait just give him your phone and don't let him cook it!"

"Hey Bro, Karkles wants to talk to you," he gives the phone to Bro then Bro shoes him away and hides all the batter.

"Hey little dude, is something wrong?"

"What are you doing trying to bake a cake?!" Karkat screams into his phone.

"Whoa, I was just trying."

"Remember last year?"

"That is why I am trying again this year."

"Well I already called cake duty, it is in the oven already so HA!"

"What?" Bro says, "no way."

"See it and fucking weep," Karkat sends his a picture of the cake in the oven.

"Shit you are fast."

"Two minutes left and I am about to frost it, and delete the picture before Dave sees it," he adds.

"Ok," he does, "now I am baking it next year. I already called it little Kar."

Karkat cringes, "call me that again and I will use one of the pranks John showed me on you."

"Be cool," he says, "I like my hair on my head and everything where it is supposed to be."

"I know, so do I. So let's not cause any problems for each other," Karkat says, "shit I have to go," He puts his phone on the counter and takes the cake out.

"Karkat?"

"Fuck that was hot!"

"Karkat?"

He picks up the phone, "I have to go."

"Why?"

"I need to frost the stupide cake!" He hangs up. Karkat makes it all white then goes back and does red rims and put a record on the top of it. He then writes 'happy birthday Dave' in red.

Bro gives Dave back his phone, "help yourself to the batter," he says carrying a little bowl away with him.

Dave walks into the kitchen and eats a little, "hm, vanilla."

Dave's phone goes off playing _Fuck You_. "I really need to change this," he picks up, "hello Karkles."

"Hey Strider, did he stop?"

"Yeah, what did you tell him?"

"I reminded him of last year," Karkat says licking his fingers because they have icing on them.

"Good," Dave licks a spoon, "I get to eat all of the cake batter.

Karkat is silent.

"Karkles?"

"Did you remember to check?"

"Check what?"

"TO see if it is fucking Batter Witch batter!"

Dave drops the spoon, "oh shit!" Karkat can hear the water running.

Karkat is laughing, "did you check first before flipping your shit?"

Dave looks at the package, "shit!" He goes back to washing his mouth.

"HAHA!" Karkat falls down in the kitchen and some of the leftover frosting falls on him, "fuck!"

"What happened to you?"

"I am covered in frosting!"

"Dude how?"

"I wanted something sweet," he says and licks some of it off of his face, "I need to go."

"Why?"

"I need to take a shower," he says, "bye," Karkat hangs up and shower.

**Next day**

Karkat puts on the cloth Dave gave him minus the shades, "mom!" He says grabbing the two wrapped boxes, "are you ready yet?!" Karkat asks zipping up his jacket.

"Yes let's go," they leave. Karkat runs through the snow, "I am surprised you like the snow."

"Why?" He makes a snow ball.

"You hate the cold," she says.

"So, that doesn't mean I hate snow," he puts several in his Sylladex and carries one.

"Ok," she says and they walk to the Strider apartment.

"Hello you two," Bro says waiting.

"Hi Bro," Karkat says.

"Little dude," Bro says then has a face full of snow.

"Ha," Karkat walks inside, "revenge!" He wants to say more but Kanri is watching.

"Karkat!" Kanri says, "Good shot, I can't believe you didn't see that coming."

"I did," he says and they walk inside.

"Really?" She asks.

"Yeah," he is hit in the face with another snow ball.

"What about that one?"

"Really Vantas?"

"Yep," she puts the cake down.

"That looks awesome, you did a good job."

"Oh Karkat made this," she says.

"Really?"

"Yep, without any help."

* * *

"Hey Strider," Karkat walks into Dave's room and sees he is wearing new shades.

"Oh hey Karkles," Dave says, "like my new shades," Karkat looks at them, they are the same ones he bought for Dave. HIs heart sinks and he feels a little sick.

"They are ok, better than the pointy anime shit you wore before," he says like normal.

"John gave them to me," Dave says and takes them off, "what is wrong with you?"

Karkat sighs, "nothing, here is your fucking present," he hands him a long box.

"Thanks," he opens it, "oh fuck yeah, a new sword!" He picks it up.

"Read the hilt," Karkat sits on his bed.

"What?" He turns it over, 'to TG from CG, happy birthday', "thanks dude."

"It was the only thing I could think of," he says, _fuck! Now what am I going to do with these stupid shades! I refused to be that one fucking friend who gives someone the same gift as another friend! Crap!_

"Karkles are you sure you are ok, you look upset."

"Yes I am fucking fine!"

"Then why didn't you say anything about me saying 'fuck yeah'?"

"It is your birthday so I am letting one slide, just one!"

"Ok," Dave says.

"Dude shut up," Karkat throws yarns at him and Dave falls down, "oh fuck! Rose what the fuck is this thing made off? Strider wake up," he shakes him, "it is your birthday get the fuck up!" Karkat growls, "ok fuck ass," he drops all of the snowballs from him Sylladex on him.

HE sits back on Dave's bed and Dave's head shoots up, "holly fuck that is cold!" He throws all the snow off of him. Karkat puts it all back in his Sylladex.

"Morning fuck ass," Karkat says, "feeling better?"

"You hit me with the yarn again didn't you?"

"Yep," Karkat gets up, "I want cake, let's go."

"Yes sir," he follows Karkat to the kitchen, he blows out the candles, "whoa this looks good. Did you make it Kanri?"

"Nope," Dave puts his fork down, "then who did?"

Karkat is eating, "me fuck ass," he finishes his slice, "homemade with nothing relating to the Batter Witch."

Dave eats his, "holly shit this is good."

"Fuck yeah it is," he says.

"Karkat!" Kanri says.

"I still have three more times saved up mom," he says.

"Fine," she says and eats some, "and you only have two left, the first one was two."

"Fine," he says, "more please," he hands his plate to Kanri and she gives him another slice.

"I didn't know you could cook," Dave says.

"I am still learning, all I can make is sweets," he says, "and spaghetti."

"Ok," he says, "wait is that why you were covered in frosting yesterday on the phone?"

"Yeah your reaction to the Batter Witch batter was funny as hell and I fell, then the leftover frosting landed on me."

"Ha-ha!" Dave says.

"Shut up David," Karkat says.

Dave glares at him and everyone can see because he isn't wearing his shades, "don't call me David."

"Whatever Strider," Karkat says waving him off and eating more cake, "this sucks."

"What?" Bro asks.

"The cake," he pushes the plat away, "I screwed up on it."

"It tastes good," Dave says shoving some in his mouth.

"Good but not great or awesome," Karkat says, "I could have done better with the frosting and how I mixed then bakes it."

"It is good, don't down yourself on cake," Dave says.

"Like you should down yourself on your own name?" Karkat asks with his eye brow raised.

"Yeah," Dave says, "wait!"

"Ha you said it!" Karkat finishes his the cake on his plate.

"Why you little!"

"I can't believe you didn't realize I was screwing with you. But I could be better."

"No, do not start again!" Dave growls, "You done?"

"Yeah."

"Ok let's go," Dave drags Karkat back to his room, "you are staying the night."

"Ok, bye mom," Karkat says then let's Dave drag him away.

"I saw that coming," she says, "well I will come back for him tomorrow," she leaves.

* * *

"Sit," Dave pushes him on his bed.

"Hey," Karkat sits up, "what is wrong with you?"

"Nothing is wrong with me but you are acting like you are P. !"

"Fuck you," Karkat says and lays down, "besides if you really need to know I get crabbier than usual when it is cold out. I hate being cold!"

"I know that!" Dave says, "why do you think I always keep an extra blanket near when you sleepover, even in the summer!"

"Hm," Karkat sighs and closes his eyes, "fuck you."

"Ok speaking of that, change your ring tone. I am getting tired of hearing that song every time you call me."

"Fine," Dave throws it before he opens his eye.

"Karkles," Karkat catches it without opening his eyes.

"What?" He looks through Dave's phone for a new ringtone.

"Nothing, don't make it have the words fuck you in it."

"Fine," Karkat looks though it until he smiles, "ok here you go."

"What is the new tone?" He takes back him phone.

Karkat calls him and _All I Ever Wanted_ starts to play.

"Really?"

"Take it or leave it dude."

"Change it again."

"Look _Fuck You_ is perfect song for me just like _Cooler Than Me_ is perfect for you."

"Change it."

"Fine," Karkat looks through songs, "oh this will work."

"This is the old one."

"Yeah it will work until I can find a better song," Karkat says, "actually," he takes the phone and changes it.

"What is this one?" Karkat calls him and _I Will Not Bow_ plays.

"Better?"

"Better than the first one," he puts away his phone, "do you need to borrow some cloths?"

Karkat thinks about the cloths he has already packed, "yeah."

"Here," he gives Karkat a red shirt and black shorts.

Karkat changes, "why are your cloths so big?" He asks, the red shirt is baggy on him.

"You are just tiny," Dave says, "now come to bed."

"Fucker," Karkat says and crosses his arms.

"Come on," Dave lies down and holds the covers up for him.

"You are fucking luck you are my friend," Karkat crawls under the blanket and goes to sleep. Dave puts his arm over him and goes to sleep too. Karkat opens his eyes and looks at Dave then snuggles up to him, "Gog I hate you sometimes," he mutters and lays there with his eyes closed but doesn't go to sleep.

**So cute right?**

**Tell me if you liked it, when I read nice reviews it makes me want to update and that goes for all of my stories**

**Haters can go hate with Sober Gamzee.**


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

**Thanks for the Review Leok**

* * *

Dave and Karkat are now twelve and in school, Karkat has a private tutor at home and Dave goes to school. Karkat only has to listen to his tutor for three hours; Dave has to say at school for eight. Today Karkat decides to meet Dave after school, he puts on his hat and long sleeve Cancer shirt then leaves.

Karkat waits outside the school until he sees a kid with a record on a red shirt and shades on, "hey Strider," Karkat says surprising him.

"Karkles what are you doing here?!"

"I came to get you," he says, "I get bored of waiting so I thought I could come and get you this time."

"Cool," Dave says.

"Hey Strider," a tall boy walks up to them.

"What do you want?"

"I wanted to see what is under those shades!" He is about to grab them until Karkat smacks his hand way.

"Hey fuck hole, remember me?" Karkat says with a growl, it is the same boy that Karkat owned in the park with his skating skills.

"K," he says, "I was wonder when I would see you again."

"Yeah well here I am fucker," Karkat says, "why are you screwing with my friend?"

"Figures the two mutants would be friends. One that hides his eyes and the other that is on drugs," Karkat punches him down.

"I have never taken any medication unlike you," Karkat kicks his pocket and white power flies out, "if you ever try and fuck with us again I will break your face!" Karkat and Dave leave.

"Break his face?" Dave asks when they are far enough away from the school.

"It sounded cooler in my head," Karkat admits.

"So what now?"

"What do you mean," Karkat asks.

"He thinks your K," Dave says.

"I am K that is the name Super Fan Boy gave me on YouTube."

"Oh yeah," Dave says, "Have you seen him lately?"

"Yeah I went skating last week and he updated my page, he also gave me fan mail."

Karkat and Dave go into Karkat's house and into his room, "any new fans?"

"Stupid from your school has said a few things. And I commented back like this," he does a double flip off, "it turns out their is a way to type that out."

"Nice," Dave says.

"Oh, I am thinking of painting my nails."

Dave is silent then asks, "why?"

"I am going to write 'fuck you' on my middle fingers then little fingers and on my other fingers so I can flip people of without flipping them off."

"You are a confusing little boy," Dave says, "and fun at the same time."

"Whatever," Karkat says, "oh," he lies down on his bed, "guess what tonight is."

"How could I forget movie night, what are we watching tonight?"

"Mean Girl," he says with glee and sits up.

"NO!" Dave whines, "I am tired of that movie!"

"Strider did you just whine?"

"No," he says quickly, "but really what are we watching?"

"Um," Karkat thinks.

"Pick something that you will not cry from," Dave says, even though Dave enjoys calming him down and hugging him every Friday because of the movie he is getting tired of watching so many romcoms.

"Nothing," he says, "then I have no movies we can watch."

"Really dude!?"

"Yes," he says seriously.

"Ok," Dave sighs, "I will pick one from your movies," he takes off his shades and closes his eye. He pulls out a movie, "you are kidding me!"

"Mean Girl wins!" Karkat says happily. Dave has to smile when he hears how happy Karkat is about the movie.

They watch the movie before they go to sleep but at the end of the movie Dave is about to get up and he feels Karkat lying on his arm. Dave has had his arm around Karkat's shoulder the whole movie but he didn't notice when he fell asleep.

"You finally crashed," he says, "it only took you ten years," he jokes, "no more like three," he mutters more honestly. He picks up Karkat who is still really light to him, "ok I am making you eat five times more than you already do, this is ridiculous on how light you are."

"Shut up," he hears Karkat say in his sleep, "everyone shut up!" He wiggles some in his arms.

"Hey Karkles it is ok," Dave puts him in bed and pets his head.

"Die in a hole!" He hears Karkat growl and starts to growl.

"I wonder what he is dreaming about," Dave gets into Karkat's bed an curls up with him and joins him in going to sleep but not before he is scared out of his mind by a random burst of laughter from Karkat. "What the fuck are you dreaming about?"

Karkat wakes up on Prospit, "oh fuck no!" He flies out the window and finds Jade, "hey Jade!"

"Karkat!" She looks at him; he is wearing a gold hat with a yellow crescent moon on it, "I know you hate sleep but you could come to visit more often."

"I know, but that doesn't really fucking matter now does it?"

"Not really," she says.

"Has Egbert woken up yet?"

"No," she says sadly, "he refuses to wake up and is still shaking."

"Get rid of the clown in his room then he might stop," Karkat mutters, "because I am the only one who can sleep with a clown stuffed animal without being scared of it apparently."

"Clowns can be scary," Jade says, "so why are you still wearing that hat, how did you even get it?"

"I made it here," Karkat says, "I refused to leave my tower until I had a hat."

"Are you really that hat obsessed?"

"I have my reasons, like Dave and his shades."

"You two are the only ones who live close to each other," Jade says, "you two must be really good friends."

"We are," Karkat says, "but you guys are good friends to us too."

"Thanks Karkat, why do you always act different when we talk?"

"What the fuck do you mean?"

"You are kind of mean online then nicer in person."

"OH that, I don't know, talking over the internet makes me upset. I like to take to people when I can hear them or see them at least."

"Oh," Jade says, "come on I want you to meet the queen," Jade grabs his hand.

"No way, I like to keep the fact I am awake a secret."

"Why do people think you are still asleep?"

"Because when anyone else is around I keep my eyes closed," Karkat explains.

"Doesn't that make it harder the move around?"

"No," Karkat says, "I have done it so many fucking time I could walk around blind and still give Egbert a perfect tour of the place."

"Wow, how many times have you been here?"

"I drew out a map from my first visit," he says, "then I memorized it so I could do the sleep walking thing."

"Ok," she says.

"Ugh, why does it feel like I don't sleep when I walk around here," Karkat asks and yawns, this is one of the rare times that he is actually tired.

"I don't know why that is for you," Jade says, "maybe you should go back to sleep in your tower. Here I will take you back," Jade leads him to his tower.

It looks just like Karkat's room but everything is gold, "it is always bright in here," he says and sits on his bed.

"You really hate light don't you?"

Karkat puts on the anime shades Dave gave him, "no I am a little light sensitive."

"Where did you get those shades?"

"Strider game them to me," he says then a knot hits him in the stomach, "while I am here I need to see John."

Jade knows nothing good will happen when Karkat's talks about someone while using their first name, "why?"

"I will tell you if you don't fucking laugh and you have to keep it a fucking secret or so help me Jegus I will kill your dream self."

"Ok I promise," She sits next to him, "what happen?"

"John gave Dave the exact same pair of new shades I was going to give him for his birthday and I still have them in my Sylladex," he pulls out the un opened present, "I don't even know what to do with them now!"

"Wow," Jade says, "just give them to him already!"

"Fuck no! If I do then he will think I just bought them to annoy him!"

"Well tell him what you told me," Jade says.

"Not that easy Harley," Karkat says. Jade smiles to see Karkat has calmed down some, "his level of irony is too high and if I try to explain it now Bro will come out of nowhere and tell us to kiss or fuck or something like that."

Jade looks at him confused and shocked, "who is Bro related to again?"

"Strider! Kanri is my mom," Karkat explains, "Bro is the one who wears the shades like David."

"Wait his full name is David."

"Yeah, David Melisa Strider," (I AM MAKING UP THE MIDDLE NAME FOR GIGGLES!) Karkat says, "so what?"

Jade is laughing, "what the heck?!"

Karkat looks at her confused, "what is so fucking funny about Strider's name?"

"Melisa is a girl's name," Jade says, "Dave doesn't go by his full name and you always call him Strider."

"Yeah so, I already knew all of that. I call him David sometimes to make him pissed off. Oh, don't tell him I told you his full name or he will try to kill me when I sleep so I will never sleep again."

"OK our secret!" Jade says because she knows how little Karkat sleeps away.

"Good," he sighs, "now to Egbert's!" Karkat flies away with his shades with his shades still on.

"Wait up and take off the shades! You won't be able to hear them," Jade says catching up to him.

"No that is the point they always give me a headache," Karkat looks in the window.

"So what are you going to do?"

"This," he pulls out a marker and draws triangle shades and a Cancer sign on John's wall, "ok we can leave now."

"What about the doll?"

"Let him deal with it when he wakes up," Karkat says, "bye Harley."

"Bye Karkat," he goes back to his tower and goes back to sleep.

Karkat wakes up and it is six in the morning, he looks at Dave, "meh," he says in bed. HE waits an hour then gets up, "I will leave him to sleep," he walks to the kitchen and makes pancakes.

Dave gets up when he smells food, "hey Karkles, what are you doing?" He looks in the kitchen.

"Good to see you are finally up fuck ass," he hands him a plate, "get some food."

"You can cook!" He says.

"Yeah," Karkat sits down and eats. "And I know you can't so don't try to return the favor."

**Tell me if you liked it, when I get nice reviews I update way faster.**

**Haters can hate with Lord English!**


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

**I don't own homestuck**

**Thanks for the reviews **GoggleHeadOtaku and nicci-chan

* * *

"Hey Karkles, did you remember to send John his birthday present?" Dave asks.

"Yes," he says, "his birthday is today!"

"I know," Dave says, "did you get the game?"

"Yeah," Karkat looks at Sburb, "you are playing right?"

"Yes Karkles, you made it very clear on what you would do to me if I didn't."

"Good," Karkat grins, "oh speaking of Egbert, I have to go."

"Fine, call me back later."

"Bye," Karkat hangs up and opens up his laptop.

ectoBiologist[EB] is pestering carcinoGeneticist[CG]

[EB]ok how did you make it?!

[CG] I AM GLAD YOU LIKE IT SO MUCH.

[EB} no seriously, how did you make this giant bunny then send it in a small package?!

[CG] I USED ONE OF YOUR PRANKS FROM THE BOOK. IT ALSO HAS A SMALLER ONE THAT WILL NOT CRUSH YOU IF IT FALLS ON YOU.

[EB] I know I found it. they are cool, thanks.

[CG] I GOT BORED AND I ALREADY HAD THEM MADE.

[EB] you just randomly made a giant version of the bunny from my favorite movie?!

[CG] I STILL DON'T SEE WHY YOU LIKE IT SO MUCH, IT IS GOOD BUT OTHER MOVIES ARE BETTER.

[EG] you are such a liar!

[CG] WHATEVER EGBERT, SO ABOUT THE GAME.

[EG] you did get the game right?

[CG] YES!

[EG] good, you do remember the order right?

[CG] YES I DO, I WAS MAKING SURE YOU REMEMBER!

[EG] Rose is getting me in, then I will get Jade, Jade will get Dave, Dave will get you, and you will get Rose right?

[CG] YEAH, WE DO NOT NEED TO TRY AND FIGURE OUT A NEW ORDER WHILE WE ARE PLAYING!

[EG] ok I know, I need to say thanks to everyone else before we start so bye.

[CG] BYE, AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

- ectoBiologist[EB] ceases to pester carcinoGeneticist[CG]

Karkat puts the game on his desk then calls Dave back, "voice mail, really?" He hangs up.

Karkat falls into his stuffed animal pill then wakes up on Prospit, "what the fuck?!" He screams looking around. He wonders how he even fell asleep.

"Hi Karkat!" Jade says looking at him from the window, "come on!"

"Ok, ok Harley," Karkat gets out of his bed and flies with her, "so where the fuck are you taking me this time?"

"Just follow me," she says happily.

"Are you going to make me talk to the chess people again?"

"Yes."

"Gog Harley, no!" He stops.

"Fine, then let's check on John," Jade says, Karkat rolls his eyes but follows her to John's tower.

"See he is still asleep," Karkat says and flies in.

"DON'T DRAW ON HIM!" Jade screams when she see Karkat pull out a marker.

"I won't, I am just adding to the graphite," he draws the cancer sign, "I wonder who did the rest of this?"

"John," Jade says.

"Really? Idiot."

"Karkat that is mean!"

"He can't hear me!"

"I know but…!"

Karkat wakes up and hears _Cooler Than Me_ playing, "hello?"

"Finally I have been calling you for the least five minutes, look outside now!"

"Ok," he looks out his window, "OH WHAT THE FUCK?!"

"It is the apocalypse we need to get in the stupid game now! And by we, I mean you!"

"What about you Strider!?"

"I am going to get you in now so get ready!"

"Fuck!" Karkat runs to his laptop, "Strider just wait a minute before you put me in the game! What about my mom, she is still home!"

"No we are getting you in now," Dave puts in the sever disk.

"Dave! Hey did you do it?"

"Did you put yours in," Dave asks.

"Yeah," Karkat looks at his screen, "I am in."

"I am going to set it all up now, stay were you are," Dave puts in all the machines, "oh God Kanri looks pissed off."

"No fcuking kidding!"

"NO I mean she is kicking ass! She is killing all of these imp things," Dave explains.

"Ok," Karkat turns around and see writing all over his walls, "fuck Strider did you write all of this on my posters?!"

"What no, that was already there," Dave says.

"Fucl," Karkat runs out of his room and cuts down a little imp, "gushers?"

"I see the blue things," Dave says, "they help me build things, pick it up!"

"OK!" Karkat screams in the phone.

"Karkat what the fuck is going on?!" Kanri asks as she cuts down an imp.

"I have no fucking idea," Karkat says.

"Oh shit!" She jumps back and the Cruxtruder appears.

"Dude, you almost crushed my mom!" Karkat hisses.

"Sorry it was an accident, metros are flying down everywhere right now!"

"Karkat," Kanri says, "let Dave help you out; I am going to buy you some more time."

"What," Karkat asks and she kisses him on the forehead.

"I am very proud of you," she leaves.

"Mom!" Karkat is about to go after her.

"Karkles we are on a dead line!"

"Fine," he makes the Cruxite dowels and runs to his room to make it carved. "Now what?"

"Stick it on the Alchemiter," Dave orders.

"And where the fuck is that?!"

"In the kitchen," Karkat runs to the kitchen.

"Why is it there?!"

"Because that is where it fit!" Dave growls annoyed.

Karkat throws it on the Alchemiter and a red tree grows with a red tree with a crab hanging off of it, "what the heck?"

"Yeah," Karkat is blind folded, "what the fuck?!" He is holding a stick and drops his phone, "really I have to fucking play piñata?!"

"How do you play that?" Dave asks, he hit the speaker button as he dropped it.

"Shut up!"

"Swing in front of you!"

Karkat swings around until he hits it, then is transported to Land of Pulse and Haze, "what the fuck," Karkat walks outside with his phone, "Dave I am in, now get your ironic ass in here," he hangs up. Karkat looks at the light following him, "ok let's try this," he throws in a white human crab looking stuffed animal he made into it.

"Took you long enough," it says.

"Oh fuck, you can talk now," Karkat walks around.

"Hey, stay near the house!" It orders.

"I am going to look for a way to Dave's planet!"

"Go through the portal," Crabsprite point to the portal above his house.

"Of fucking course," he walks back to his house, "and Dave is the only one who can build it up."

"Look up again," he sees his house built up to the portal.

"Fuck ass get in the game before you help me." He growls, "Fuck he will never get anyway if she is asleep," he runs inside and goes into his room.

"What are you going to do?" Crabsprite asks.

"Something I wish I didn't have to do," he pulls out some sleeping piles from his nightstand, "can I trust you to fight off all the imps while I wake Jade up?"

"Yes."

"Good," he takes one of the piles and falls asleep. He wakes up on Prospit and quickly goes out to find Jade.

"Karkat," Jade says, "what are you doing here, shouldn't you be in the game?!"

"I am in the game already but I need you to get Dave in now!"

Jade knows he is serious, "I am already helping him," she says.

"No you awake, not the robot!"

"Karkat it is fine!" She says, "I swear!"

Karkat looks at the cloud, "do that look fine to you!" He says pointing at the cloud that shows Dave's house and a metro about to hit his house then the cloud vanishes.

"But I can't wake up!"

"I will wake you up then, just wait a minute," he pulls out the red yarn.

"What are you going to do with that?"

"I don't know, every time I hit Strider with it he goes to sleep so…"

Jade vanishes.

"Strider woke her up," he puts the yarn away and flies to John's tower, "still asleep fucker, you had better wake up soon," he ties a piece of red string around his and John's finger then goes back to his tower.

Karkat gets out of his bed and see Crabsprite destroying more imps, "are you done sleeping?"

"Yeah," Karkat fixes his hat and pulls out his sickles, "these aren't my sickles," he says looking at the Homes Smell Ya Later Sickles.

"I made then for you," Crabsprite says.

"Oh, thank I guess," he says and walks out of his house and opens his laptop and puts in the disk to get Rose in.

carcinoGeneticist is pestering tentacleTherapist

[CG] LALONDE ARE YOU THERE?!

[TT] Yes Karkat, what is wrong?

[CG] ARE YOU READY TO GO INTO THE FUCKING GAME NOW?

[TT] Yes, are you my server player?

{CG] YEAH, I AM INSTALLING IT NOW.

[TT] So am I.

Karkat looks at her room and he start to set up all the equipment she would need to get into the game in one area except for one.

[CG] OK I HAVE SET EVERYTHING UP, AS SOON AS YOU GET THE SPRITE OUT OF THE MACHINE IN YOUR LIVING ROOM.

[TT] Ok, I know what to do Karkat. Please just be ready to help me.

[CG] OK, DON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT, JUST GET STARTED.

He watches Rose run around setting up her game, "she needs a sprite to help her," Karkat says thinking to himself then throws her dead cat into it creating the Jaspersprite.

[TT] What did you do Karkat?

[CG] HE WILL HELP YOU.

[TT] Ok.

HE watches her enter the medium, "good, she is safe."

[TT] Karkat, are you still there?

[CG] YEAH, THIS IS AS FAR AS I CAN HELP YOU.

[TT] Why?

[CG] AS SOON AS YOU LEAVE YOUR HOUSE I CAN'T SEE YOU. ALL I CAN DO NOW IT BUILD YOU A WAY TO THE NEXT PORTAL AND MAYBE BUILD ANYTHIGN ELSE YOU NEED.

[TT] Ok, I understand. Do you know how everyone else is?

[CG] YOU KNOW EGBERT IS IN, I AM IN MY MEDIUM, STRIDER IS COMING, AND JADE IS GOD KNOWS WHERE.

[TT] Oh, who is her sever player again?

[CG] EGBERT, I FEEL SORRY FOR HER.

[TT] Why?

[CG] I HAVE A BAD FEELING HE IS GOING TO DO SOMETHING STUPID AND GET HER KILLED.

[TT] Karkat! Do not talk like that again!

[CG] SORRY, I REALLY JUST CAN'T TRUST HIM ANYMORE. STUPID FUCL ASS!

[TT] Karkat he will get her in, but why are you freaking out?

[CG] BECAUSE I AM JUST HAVING A BAD FEELING, PESTER ME IF YOU NEED ME TO AKE YOU ANYTHING.

[TT] Ok.

Karkat just shuts his laptop and doesn't bother leaving the chat; he leaves the house and trains in his land to raise levels.

"Are you still worried about your friends?" Crabsprite asks.

"Yes," Karkat answers sitting on top of his house, "we should have never started this game."

"It has only been a few days," his sprite says.

"Yeah and the only one I have talk to is Rose!" He hits the roof; he pulls out his phone and dials in Dave's number. "Come on Strider."

"Hello?"

"Holly fuck, you are alive!" Karkat says with relief in his voice.

"Karkles, where are you?!" He asks, Karkat can tell he is worried about something.

"In my land, The Land of Pulse and Haze. I haven't left yet, why?"

"Stay put, no matter what do not leave until I come to get you!"

"Strider, what is wrong?"

"Just do what I told you to do!" He screams.

Karkat almost drops his phone in shock at him even rising his voice, "whoa Strider, stop shit bricks and tell me why you are going into a fuck freak out."

"I am not watching you die again so stay put!" Dave says.

Karkat hears the phone move, "Karkat?"

"Yeah, ok Strider this isn't funny, what the fcuk!"

"Ok Karkles, I am Davesprite. Don't worry the other Dave is fine I just told him something I shouldn't have, sorry."

"Ok 'Davesprite', why is my Dave shitting bricks?"

"God I missed you saying that all the time," Davesprite says, "he just learned about my doomed time line, that's all."

"So that is why he didn't take my calls for a few days?"

"No, actually we lost the phone."

Karkat is silent, he takes a deep breath and Crabspirte moves to the ground. "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, YOU STUPID FUCK ASSES STRIDERS!" Crabsprite could still hear him perfectly from the ground.

Davesprite drops the phone and the other Dave heard the whole thing, "your turn," Davesprite says, "you get to calm him down."

"You are the one who made him flip his shit!"

"But I am not his BF," Davesprite says.

"We aren't dating!"

"Not yet," he says.

"HEY ARE YOU STILL THERE FUCK ASSES?!"

The both move away from the phone, "talk to him," Davesprite says.

"STRIDER PICK UP THIS FUCKING PHONE RIGHT NOW BEFORE I GO TO YOUR LAND AND KICK YOUR STUPID STOTIC ASS! AND THE OTHER STUPID STOTIC ASS OF YOUR FUCKING DAVESPRITE!"

Dave picks up the phone quickly, "sorry Karkles, Davesprite wouldn't give it back."

"Yeah right," he says knowing that Dave wouldn't pick up the phone unless he threatened to move from his land.

"It is true and he when on some bull shit rant about his undying love for you."

Karkat pauses, "wait, isn't he you from the future or something?"

Dave regrets saying that, "from a different timeline! Different things happen!"

"Like my death?"

"And John's."

"I have to go," Karkat says, _if he dies then Jade might, oh Gog!_

"Why?"

"I need to check on him in Prospit now! Fuck, Jade please don't do something stupid!"

"Wait don't you dare go to sleep now!"

"Bye Strider," he says like a cocky bastard to annoy him and hangs up. Karkat sits in his room and wakes up in Prospit, "Harley! Egbert!" He screams.

**Hope you all liked it. I want to see what you think so review. 69**


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